Nearly Didn't Get There...

How often do you mean to go somewhere or do something or make plans and other things get in the way or you end up too tired to make the effort? I had a bit of that going on here in my life last night. I visited my folks on the way home from work and had a natter and a cuppa with them and by the time I got home and had dinner and sat down (I think that might be where the problem occurred), the thought of going out again was suddenly most unattractive.

There was a jam session going down at our local sailing club and it sounded like it might be a fun night and I know quite a few people who get along there. But Friday nights are like...phew! End of the week. Time to relax. And mostly I don't get out of the door to do that. I stay home. Which is cool. I enjoy my time doing what I do at home. But you know, it's good for the soul to get out now and then.Anyway, I had decided that I couldn't muster the energy. 

Checked my phone about quarter to nine and there was a text message from a friend. Where are you? Oh. The message had been sent an hour prior. Would they be winding up by now? Was it still worth going? Would I look silly walking in so late? Could I be bothered?? What could I wear? It's been raining - I might slip over. You will probably know the kind of stuff that was running about in my head and trying to make it as difficult as possible to go and as easy as possible to stay right where I was. I fought it. I quickly changed. You look fat. Said the voice. I am fat. I retorted. So what. Let's go. I added red beads. They always make me feel better. They are happy beads that I paid a buck for in an op shop in town I did my first year teaching. I was broke as broke can be...but I had a buck and I liked those beads. They are kind of proof that things can always get better.

Dressed in basic black with red beads, I embarked on the five minute drive. I know, how slack can you get? Five minutes away and I nearly didn't get there. I nearly didn't make the effort. I nearly didn't bother. I nearly let myself talk me out of it. The drive was swift and uneventful. I noticed as I approached the venue that people seemed to be about so that was a good sign. They weren't packing up just yet. I know, you might think it's a little mad of me to think they might have been packing up just after nine, but this is a pretty small town!

Car parked, I grabbed my torch. I had five dollars in one zippered pocket and the car keys in another. I was ready. And in I went.

Ah, I tell ya, it was sooo worth it. Friend who sent the text message spotted me and her face lit up and arms spread wide to welcome me. Isn't it worth getting out of your own way to get a great hug from a mate? YES! Because from there the night just got better. I thought I might only be out for half an hour or so...but the night rolled on and I had more fun than you can poke a stick at.

The music was amateur but fabulous. Fun, joyful, plentiful and loud. So talking had to be done in snatches between sets. Chats aside, the vibe was great and who could stay still with those familiar beats playing. We danced and laughed and sang along. Lots of tunes from my teen years and haha, maybe some moves from back then too. They might not look too flash, but it feels so great to move to music. I just had a ball. 

One of the students from our school played the drums like an absolute champion and the look of glee and concentration on his face said it all. These little community events are gold for kids and adults alike. They bring us together in a way that meeting up at school or the shops just can't match.

Catching up with some local buddies was great, but adding to the enjoyment was the opportunity to meet and chat with some new folks too. Some local and some visitors from further afield. It was truly a wonderful night. 

Finally, at around midnight (I know! So late!!) I wandered back to the car, my torch light eclipsed by the luminescent flash swished across the bay by a shy moon peeping just then from behind the clouds. Imagine. I might have missed it all. I nearly didn't get there, but I'm so glad that I did. Big thanks to lovely friends that let me know it's important to them that I'm there. 

Feeling good tonight. At home. Good enough.

Cheers n Love

Kerry x

ps I ran the whole night on water and went home with that five bucks still in my pocket! I love getting older. Miracles become a regular part of life.

What We Need is an Outbreak of Common Sense

Often I want to set up a Facebook page called 'Just Stop It!' or 'Stop It Now!'. In all honesty, the marvel of social media has made me party to all sorts of news that I wouldn't normally think about or perhaps even know about. Some of the more bizarre stuff might not be true. But worse still, it may be. And in that case the human race or at least a frightening number of its members have a great deal to answer for.

Do you ever wonder what on Earth is going on that other people, yes human beings just like you, find it within themselves to partake in what surely must be recognised as the most despicable of actions against other humans, animals and the very planet on which our existence depends? Do you? I do. I know much harm we do is clumsy, unwitting human error. That's a given. Not one of us is all wise in all ways. But much of what I see cannot be explained away as clumsiness or ignorance.

Entertainment on social media and even on one way media like television (well, okay, we interact by switching channels, buying the goods advertised and sometimes even...switching OFF), is awash with evidence of the slippery slide on which we find ourselves. Those more aware or more concerned individuals try in some ways to slow the trip by actions similar to a small child on a slippery dip, pressing arms and legs outwards to create some friction, slow the descent and avoid the hard 'bump' at the bottom. It might make that individual feel a little safer for a time, or a little more in control somehow. But what difference is it making? I wonder. Some of us are frantically recycling and doing our best to buy and invest ethically, to minimise our purchasing of new articles, trying to live more locally and create a greater sense of connection to others and planet; a sense of making a difference and belonging to a community. Just belonging. 

The thing is, we do all belong. We all live on this planet and we all share, somewhat inequitably to say the least, the resources we find hereon. And yet control of this amazing place we all call home - we all share - we all have in common - falls somehow to the few. How does that come to bear? I am bemused and confused and deeply concerned that we (the masses - the not 'super-rich' - the non-plutocrats) have been dreadfully and thoroughly hoodwinked. We are somehow beholden to keeping those plutocrats right where they like to be. We whinge and whine about how unfair everything is but we seem somehow unable to do much about it. 

Still, I diverge from where I wanted to go with this. The stuff I want to talk about today is the damned silly and ridiculous stuff that people do. The cruel, the nasty, the unkind, the violent, the unfeeling actions against those less strong or less able. I'm talking about anything that makes life less enjoyable, less free, less comfortable or less fair to another being. I don't want to cite specifics because the things I'm talking about are shared often enough and I see no point in giving them more airplay than they are already getting. 

We, human beings of all ilks, nations and creeds, need a virus to strike us, one and all. A curious virus - an outbreak, an epidemic of common sense. The kind that means we must see how another will feel if we act improperly towards them, be they fellow human, four-legged friend or Mother Earth herself. Indeed she is our mother. From her we came and to her we shall one day return. The cycles of life will continue in some way, shape or form, if not in ways immediately recognisable to us...as things inevitably change. But just imagine if there was such an outbreak. If we could all suddenly see the consequences of our actions and make choices that were kinder and more loving. Imagine if we no longer had to see images and hear stories that result from determined and deliberate actions of hate. Imagine. All credit there to John Lennon. His words of love and peace bring tears surging to my poor eyes, tired of being ravaged by indecencies and improprieties. I see and hear way more than I want to, simply because it has become more acceptable to publicise (to share) these things nowadays. 

Well, perhaps all this seems rather judgemental, but I hope not. Making judgments is an integral part of being human. Of human being. It is necessary to make judgments about what is acceptable to us and what is not. It is necessary to make judgments about what we are willing to tolerate and what we are not. Let's hope and pray for that virus that might infect us all with more compassion, more understanding, more empathy, more connection and the ability to see how our actions affect those around us, other humans who may be invisible to us in our daily lives, and this beautiful planet. I'm calling for an outbreak of common sense and I hope it will come soon. I believe there are pockets of 'infection' even now as I write, but my hope is that these will grow and erupt to spread in epidemic proportions and lead to a kinder and more loving humanity. 

Thanks for hearing me out.

Please feel welcome to share stories of compassion and love to empower the movement towards better times for all. Perhaps if we work at it we can tip the scale. If you are unable to comment here, please pop over to my Facebook page and leave a comment there. 

Kerry x

The Ten Minute Post

Hi all...I was going to shut down the computer without writing tonight, having just finished my Day Plan for school tomorrow and having fiddled and fluffed about for much of the evening enjoying various bits n pieces found via Facebook...then I decided to see what I could do in ten minutes, just to say I'd written something...so here it is.

I've been feeling a bit annoyed about the latest push by the government to get children into school even earlier than they are currently starting. Now they can start so long as they are four years old by the end of January in the year in which they intend to commence. That is to be changed to make it okay to be three and a half...I think I have it right. Well really. Kids need time to grow and develop as part of a family and a community before they are thrown into a classroom environment. Are we going to be expecting them to be sitting at desks and concentrating to learn what we think they need to learn at such a tender age. And how much adult support is there going to be to achieve such an end? Are ratios of teachers and teacher aides to children going to be increased to ensure children receive the attention they will require. Think help with toileting, blowing and wiping noses, tying shoe laces, opening drink bottles and food packets and so on.

It makes me so mad. I think it is a mad attempt to steal children away from their parents at an earlier and earlier age. I chose to home school my own children and did so before I went to university to become a teacher. I am so glad that I gave them that time and the opportunity to develop free thought. I'm not saying my kids have no problems or that they are perfect...or that I'm a perfect or superior parent in any way, but for me it felt important to have them with me and to allow them time to explore and learn as they felt interested to do so. This felt like a more natural and healthy way to learn and both of them followed their interests.

The answers to these issues are never easy and I don't purport to have all the answers, but if they want three and half years olds in schools then I think they ought to have the parents accompanying them. Yes I do. Because kids need their parents...well that's it. My ten minutes is up. Bit of a rant this evening...and I will be getting along to an event to oppose the introduction of said adjustments to laws. No doubt there will be hundreds, if not thousands of fellow early childhood educators there too as we say together, "NO!!"

What do you think? 

Cheers

Kerry x

A tiny step forward

So today dissolved into a muddle of time on Facebook, going to school to feed the goldfish and complete a few tasks before 'back to school' day tomorrow, doing a bit of washing and so on. The end of the day approached...well the end of the daylight hours...and suddenly I just had to get myself down to the beach. Once there I wished I'd gone earlier but it's funny how insignifica can usurp the day and leave one scrambling for the meaningful at the latter end. 

I've not been beach walking or bush walking lately much to my mental and emotional detriment but I just haven't felt 'up' to it. Sore leg n all. Not wanting to overdo it. And me being me I'm likely to do just that. So I determined that I would embark on a short walk. Yes short. Very short indeed. And that is what I did. Such a simple thing and a tiny step towards reclaiming my normality. It must be there if I can only be patient and gentle in moving towards where I think it might be.

I wandered not far and not fast. More a humble hobble interspersed with clicking to grab some of those beautiful moments to share here with you. Ah, so much beauty is there for the taking. How do I deprive myself of this when it is all but on my doorstep. This temporary hiccup (at least so I hope) affecting my ambulatory prowess will imbue me with due appreciation and respect for the simple act of going for a walk. No more will I slacken and miss the opportunity to get outside and love the day...no matter the weather. Hold me to it, friends, for such promises are quick forgotten when all is going well. Do you find that too? Never take your health and well being for granted. It is precious beyond measure.

Enough of waxing lyrical and more of sharing what sights I beheld for the tiny price of getting off my butt and heading outdoors...acknowledging of course, that I do live in a truly spectacular place. 

That autumn sun and gentle sea - no wind - patterns of light and movement. Peaceful breath of the ocean.

Sandy starfish?

Tiny sea-pot or perhaps a door to the underworld?

Bizarre accidental selfie.

Favourite shot...tiny treasure.

Ripple effect.

Waiting for a lift home.

Bushfire not too worrying while there is no wind...brushstroke clouds.

The waiting game left me pondering the angles formed by all those wires and the reflective qualities of the insulators...joyful moments for me.

Well, all of that in only half an hour and probably a walk of 150 metres. Can't say how much better I feel for making that small effort. 

Cheers for now!

Kerry x

Stuck-ness

Where has the time gone? It's been weeks and weeks since I last wrote and somehow the inspiration hasn't been there. I've thought about writing and have written short bits and pieces for myself, but not for sharing. I've needed to write a letter of condolence to a friend and did manage one brief letter to my one and only Auntie in the UK. Otherwise, it's been a pretty dry time. I wonder why?

Sigh. I wonder if perhaps when we go through times of internal dissent (for want of a better term) that it can suck us dry of our creativity. Internal dissent. Knowing that I have to do one thing but wanting to do another. Or many others. But stuck with the status quo, or so it seems. Stuck-ness is a great killer of creativity. No doubt. 

Do you find yourself bombarded (I know, it's a choice) with declarations that you can change anything and everything about life that is not contributing to your joy and happiness buckets? Perhaps it's all the positive thinking and spiritually leaning pages I've chosen to follow on social media. Perhaps I can change the message I'm choosing for myself by switching 'channels'? It's true that we see what we are looking for. I'm feeling unsettled in myself and so all I see around me is reinforcing that message and telling me to step up! step out! make the change! and yes, in a blink I would.

But it's not that easy. As most of us would find, change affects not  only us but those around us too. We do need to take into account how our choices affect others. Imagine if we didn't...how wild would life be then! So for now I will find ways to make the status quo work for me. I will make small adjustments and look for signs that I am happier in fact than I have recently allowed myself to believe. Not that I've been UNhappy. That wouldn't be fair to say or to think so. I am just ready for change again. 

Oh dear, that restless spirit of mine always ready for change. Always wanting to hit the road and go. Always wanting to follow my nose and my inklings, my ponderings and my dreams. My new ideas, my impulses and compunctions. But life wants me to be solid and regulated and reliable and all the things that are such a struggle for me. I bet no one could imagine the struggles that go on inside my very ordinary exterior. People who 'see' me say that I'm 'such a hippie'. Or perhaps a 'plain clothes hippie'. All good. I don't mind what people say. 

I know I'm not that unusual. There are lots of us out there doing what we 'have to'. To keep things going. To put toast on the table. To pay the damned bills. Well. It's what we do. 

Just of late I've been dragged, kicking and screaming (no, that's not true at all) into the lovely world of letter journalling. If you don't know what it is, take a mo to look it up on Google. For me, it's a bit of fun and way to explore playing with various ways of arting. I'm learning from other letter journallers and meeting some lovely people in the swaps. Its giving me a bit of something I've been needing; new people to talk to, new skills to learn. Things that keep me from going crazy. Well okay, that's probably a bit of an exaggeration. Things that keep me...busy. Things that maybe keep me from changing what I want to change? I wonder.

It's been a God-send really. I've been stuck in my chair quite a lot in recent weeks with a knee that has suddenly decided to show the ravages of time and has rendered me nowhere near as agile or mobile as I like to be. As I have taken myself for granted all these years until now. No wonder I'm a bit grumpy and restless. No bushwalks. No beachwalks. They are often my inspiration to write. No inspiration. 

So that is me. In my bubble. Trying to imagine getting through the week at work when I go back this week, without my knee being an unhappy balloon at the end of the day. I'm taking some supplements to help regrow the cartilage.  Don't scoff. I have a strong belief in the human body's ability to heal so I'm going with that. Set the scene for healing and it will happen. I believe that. It is just a matter of commitment to the cause and time. So I am resting a lot. 

I could muse much more about stuck-ness. About how it builds character and perseverance. About developing stick-at-it-ive-ness. About being grateful for how things are. About looking for the lessons in the status quo and applying them diligently. I am not unaware of the benefits. But it doesn't stop me from wanting to spit the bit and take off like a wild pony, mane jerking freely in the breezy wake of my galloping escape! No. It. Does. Not. Sigh.

There are so many things happening around the world and in our country here that I'd like to be writing a lot more about but I tend to keep quiet because I have my job to think of. When I find a way to live without it I expect I will have much more to say. In the meantime I will entertain myself by writing closer to home and hope that you might find something here to identify with. After all, isn't that what makes a read worthwhile...when we can think 'yes'...'someone else understands'. 

Tomorrow is Anzac Day. A holiday. A sad day. A proud day for some. I'll be thinking of the men, young and old, who went into hell because they had no choice or no understanding. I'll think of the families they left behind, who loved them and grieved for them and grieve for them still. For the souls of men and women and children around the world who die in wars still now, every single day. And I'll wonder why the hell we can't stop it all and find a way to love and care for each other. Later I'll listen to some angry, tortured soul screaming ''Get off the effing road!!" (and it may well be a women speaking) just because another driver is a little hesitant or unsure of the way...and I'll know that there's not much hope. Well, not until a lot of us calm down and get a handle on what really matters. 

Wishing you love.

Wishing you hope.

Wishing you peace.

Kerry x