How do you think about yourself? Happy New Year Gorgeous!

Gotta love Facebook for all the wonders that appear right at our fingertips at just the right time. (Yeah, I needed this right now!!) 

You are beautiful...
How long is it since someone told you that you're beautiful?
You are beautiful...
How long since you thought that might be possible?

You are beautiful. Go check it out. It's true. 

Happy New Year Gorgeous One. 
You are beautiful...
Go be amazing...like she says! 

Thanks to Upworthy for this and many other great 'make you think' videos!

How you see yourself is probably not how others see you. 

If you haven't seen this Upworthy video, it's worth a look too. 

You are beautiful...are you smiling yet?

If someone tells you you're pretty, gorgeous, sexy, lovely, attractive, magnetic, powerful, capable, fantastic, fabulous, funny, exciting, or any number of other complimentary things...perhaps you have nice eyes or lovely forearms...it's time to start believing and to tell those good things to yourself too. 

Love yourself unconditionally. 

You are beautiful.

 The more you believe that and the more you tell yourself, the more it will become your truth. 

From one beautiful person to another...Yeah!

Closing the lid on 2013.

The newscasts usually give us a run down on the highlights of the year...or the major stories...a brief glimpse of what it might be like in the last minutes of life; a high speed review of all sorts of moments. I wonder if the brain sorts them according to the level of impact they had on your life. I wonder if you and I will remember the things we think we will...or if a whole lot of random moments will suddenly show us their impact? It makes me wonder what were the important moments this year for me. There have been some big happenings...and lots of little things that might have gone unnoticed...almost. How many of those have I stored up in the archives of my mind to reappear at unexpected moments? Not perhaps at the end of life, but just in those quiet moments of reflection that creep into life as you get a little older.

A lot of people have come and gone in my life this year. As a teacher I've had students begin the year with me only to disappear into the ether, sometimes without warning...and felt that terrible sense of loss. When you get a new student to work with, you try to assess their strengths and needs quite quickly in order to produce a plan for their education that will meet them where they are and coax them forwards towards bigger and better things. Once you have that figured out and ready to roll, it is a terrible thing to suddenly find the student gone. There are all kinds of reasons for this kind of thing to happen, but to any of those children out there who might have moved around a lot to different schools...know that your teachers missed you when you went. You were important to them and they would possibly still be wondering how you got on. Teachers have very good memories for some things and kids' names is one of those. We don't forget them easily. So some students started 2013 with me and then left. Others appeared on the roll call mid-way through the year and some even later. The same process happens whatever time they arrive. Get to know their strengths and needs...plan for what they need to keep them learning...

A few men have come and gone too. I've been on my own for a number of years and have played around with online dating...it's the way to meet men these days, like it or not! When you live in a small community...or even a large one...when you work in a sector that is primarily women (teaching)...there are not a lot of ways to meet interesting men. I am not a pub-goer and don't like to travel at night on the local roads that are highways too for much of the local wildlife (furred and four legged) and I don't want to be responsible for their demise. Thank goodness for the internet that has allowed me to connect with some interesting chaps and even to get as far as meeting a very few of them. This year got off to a fantastic start with a meeting that held all the promise of a long-lasting love affair...but it was just a day in Hobart town enjoying the sights and sounds of the waterfront...sampling some delicious seafood and chatting. What a fabulous connection we seemed to have. I looked forward to more of the same. Alas, it was not to be. I'm not going into details but I didn't see him again. We spoke on the phone a few times and then he was gone. Worked interstate...all too complicated. 

What I learned from the experience, which was really tough because he had even said he was looking forward so much to planning a life with me...(I should have known that couldn't be true because he just didn't know me well enough after one date...even though it was several hours chatting...it's easy to be blinded to reason at these times!!) What I learned was this...and I hope it might help some of you out there that might be hoping to meet someone who will be 'forever'. When you go on a date you must not be thinking...Is this the one? Is this the guy who I'll connect with and fall in love with? Will he ask me out again? Will he call???? Do not put yourself through it. Please. Be thinking this...Am I enjoying myself? Am I having fun? Would I want to do this again? If you can just be thinking those things, you will be more relaxed. In the end, isn't that what is important to know? Are you enjoying the other person's company enough to be willing to do it again. Even if it is just a coffee. If you can just think about that you'll be giving off good vibes, and I think it is probably more likely then that he will call again. This works whether you are sixteen or sixty-six I'm pretty sure. Relax. Sometimes we're so busy wondering what the future might hold that we forget to enjoy the moments we're having right now. Right now I can remember sitting under the big trees in Salamanca Place. I can remember the bare dirt and the cigarette butts here and there. I can remember the 'connection' when we chatted; so much in common it seemed. It's amazing that sometimes things can feel so right...but go nowhere. That's life. 

I gave myself some time to recover and then over the next few months had the experience of meeting (just online) a scammer through one of the dating sites. I was so amazed by that. I'd heard about them and now I've seen first hand how smooth they are. Beware ladies and gentlemen. This lovely man...with pictures of him that let me know right away that he was 'above my station' in life let me know how wonderful I was and wrote lengthy emails about himself and what he was looking for in life and so on. I read his letters to my mum and she thought he sounded lovely too. Well, Mr Too Good To Be True was just that. I popped his name into a scammer site and found him straight away. Of course, the person in the photo is someone and the name may be someone's too, but the person using that identity was someone else. They are generally after money. Wasting their time with me. There is no way I'd be giving money to someone I hadn't met. I hope none of you would be silly enough to do that either...but be warned, they do spin a very convincing persona and a very convincing yarn. If you're feeling lonely they could just get under your guard and take you for a ride. Don't let it happen. The person you want in your life must be able to take care of themselves financially. Goes without saying really. Don't be conned. Anyone who is a decent person will be able to get a loan from friends or family or financial institution. If they can't manage to have anyone trust them enough for that...do you want to trust them? Not me, sorry. By the way, if you have funds sitting in the bank, I'm wondering to myself what you're doing on online dating sites and why you're not out doing some travelling and seeing the world...having some fun and meeting people along the way. Still need to have your wits about you, but if I had money I'm pretty sure I'd be off hiking or biking or exploring or sailing or doing something fun and adventurous. Life is too short to waste it waiting for someone to come along and make it interesting for you.

This year I did meet a lovely man...he's had a mention now and then in my blogposts.  He is a gentleman and a gentle man and has beautiful qualities that attracted me to him. Yes, we met through a dating site. I took the plunge and we met for coffee. Things progressed over a few months and he travelled interstate to visit with me a few times. Eventually he moved closer to me and then we moved in together. Then I learned something about myself. I've become much too used to living on my own. I can't be as 'live and let live' as I thought I could be. I think I didn't give myself long enough to get to know this lovely man before moving in together. It's a temptation when you're older to feel like time is running away with you...that you are more mature and should know yourself well enough. Relationships are tricky. I feel terrible to have put us both through the hard work of moving in together and blending two households only to be pulling the plug on it and saying it's not working for me. At the same time there have been some truly wonderful times and I'm hanging onto that just now...knowing that we have to find out about things by trying. If we play it too safe we can miss out on those good things. What is the saying? You have to take the bad with the good. Things are still a little messy. I'm staying with  gracious friends who have allowed me a space in their home while I sort out a place for myself again. I don't know what the future holds but I just need a little time to regroup and find my 'compass' again. I'm off-balance and not as well as I could be. I feel sorry for my loss. Most of all I hold hope.

Like friendships that we imagine, especially as children, are all made to be 'forever', some relationships last longer than others and some change direction along the way. Someone said to me the other day...I've left lots of men I've loved...because it just wasn't right. Well, we all work life out in our own way I guess. I'm getting old and learning that I have to do what makes me happy because then I function better as a human being within a family and a community. I am not an island. What I do and how I behave affects other people.  I never set out to hurt another person but sometimes our actions do cause hurt, even when we don't want them to. This is pretty raw stuff for me right now. I've cried buckets of tears and know it will take a while to feel alright with myself again. Some people might think it's wrong to be sharing this with you here, but maybe sharing some of this will help you to avoid the same pitfalls or to have the courage to give something a go, or at least not to feel so alone in facing the ups and downs in life. One of the concepts that keeps me going is the idea that we draw to us the experiences we need to learn from. Given that idea, I try very hard to find the learning in each life experience. I am a natural reflector...I think about what I could have done differently...what I could do better or differently next time. That is how I find my learning. I am grateful to be alive and to be living life and having a go at relationships. I am lucky enough to know that I am loved by many people around me...family and friends...and I am grateful for each and every one of them. Perhaps it's a bit fatalistic but I also subscribe to the ideas put forward in Dr Susan Jeffers' book, Feel the Fear and do it Anyway. One of those is that when we have choices to make, there is no wrong choice. We do what we do and we live life and we love and learn along the way. Look for the learning. Stay safe. Watch out for scammers; if it seems too good to be true it probably is. 

Plans for New Years Eve. I'm on the wait and see. I wish you all a good ending to 2013 and hope you have some adventures in your sights for next year. Life is for living...you just gotta get out there and do it.

Thanks for reading me in 2013. I'll be back next year.

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

Here it is, Christmas Eve, and I'm not feeling even a tiny bit Christmassy...whatever that is. I'm not meaning to sulk or whinge. I know it's up to me to create my own feelings...ah, yes it is...so if you're feeling Christmassy then well done! You've done it all your self...with perhaps a little help from religious belief, music and advertising or Christmassy movies...yes, I've been watching them too. I suppose though, that I'm wondering why we make so much fuss and stress about one day of the year. 

We went shopping yesterday and I commented to D that people all seemed very calm. He reckoned they weren't calm...they were stressed. Calm on the outside but struggling with inner turmoil. Look at their faces he said. No-one's smiling. He was right. I noticed one woman smile briefly when she spoke to another woman, presumably her daughter, but it was fleeting. People stood in the lines with firm faces and didn't acknowledge one another for the most part. I wonder if they were doing that terrible thing...standing in the supermarket queue...and going through that mental list to check if they'd forgotten something. Realising suddenly that they didn't end up putting the cranberry sauce in the trolley and wondering if it's worth giving up their place in the queue for the cranberry sauce...wondering if the turkey will be big enough...wondering if the pavlova will hold together this year...or if someone will get horribly drunk and ruin the day even after all this effort. 

Speaking of queues...at Christmas time...why is it that the supermarket giants cannot employ enough staff to keep all the checkouts operating at all times for the week surrounding Christmas Day? I can't imagine their thinking in keeping people waiting in queues whilst there are checkouts closed.Unless of course it's to give us all time to remember the cranberry sauce.I reckon that their gift to the nation each year ought to be to keep staff levels up so that we all have a bit of flow happening when we shop. I think that if they did that and we forgot the cranberry sauce, we wouldn't mind popping back into the store after loading the car to grab it...and I'm pretty sure I'd be picking up some mangoes and other bits I ho-hummed about on the first trip around. What about you? I think standing in the queue waiting creates a kind of numbing depression that means by the time you get through and out to the car all you can think about it getting home for a good hot cup of tea...or something stronger!

Supermarkets...can be trying. Markets on the other hand can be fun and interesting. You never know what you'll find but you do know that you'll have someone to serve you and to have a chat with. I went to a local market on Sunday...it was the first time I'd been in although I'd driven past so many times over the years. I'm a convert! The market at Franklin in the old Palais Theatre is well worth a visit for many reasons. The building itself is exquisite...the lighting is poor so you have to give yourself a few minutes to adjust...the sense of intimacy is enhanced by the semi - darkness. Stalls were crammed in and offered all sorts of wares...everything from exotic oils, handmade soaps, freshly crafted loaves of rye, homegrown hazelnuts, locally produced Frank's Ciders, lush plants, jams, embroidered goods, bric a brac, jewellery and even fresh live oysters and mussels....and more! It was sheer delight to wander along and see the variety of goods on offer. Is this a typical market day I asked one of the stallholders...perhaps a little more than usual because it is Christmas, she said...but otherwise pretty much. I know I'll be going back. What a truly festive feeling I found there, compared to the dry and sombre mood at the supermarket. Not super at all really. Franklin Market by comparison is the Super Market!

It was a wet day and some of the outside stallholders packed up and headed off...what a shame for them...but I had a brolly with me and so decided to embark on another mission while I was there. I have driven through Franklin, a small meandering town built following the contours of the Huon River, probably thousands of times over the years I've lived in or visited the Huon Valley region. Every time I've noticed a sign for an antiques store and have never once stopped for a look. Motivated by D's interest in antique lamps and the proximity of Christmas, I decided to go and take a look in case I saw something suitable (and affordable) to add to his small collection. 

I enjoyed the short walk from the Palais to the old bank building that housed the antiques store, rain pinging happily on my red umbrella...and boy, oh boy...what a treasure was in store for me! Nothing on the outside of the building prepared me for what was inside. I ought to have known from the size of the building...I ought to have been able to predict what I might find...but I was blind-sided by the few artifacts carelessly strewn either side of the small door tucked in atop a couple of unimpressive concrete steps. I opened the door to a wonderland. It was absolutely packed from floor to ceiling with marvel upon marvel. Memories were awakened as I browsed the hundreds, no thousands, or articles therein. I spent an hour or more inside...maybe two! Beyond the first two rooms...and I thought that was all when I first went in...I discovered another eleven! Yes...out back there were rooms and hallways and stairways filled with assorted paraphernalia of the past...I had a wonderful time. A museum of life it was...of human life. Testimony to the ingenuity and passions of people past and present. I'm not going to tell you about all the things I saw, but I have to say that treading the boards of the magnificent staircase leading to the upstairs rooms would have made the adventure worthwhile all on its own. So sturdy and strong and beautiful it was. 

I didn't find a lamp to buy, but I did begin to look at things and look at the prices and thought that if I keep doing this I might find a 'good buy' one day. I realised that I had no idea of the worth of things...but also that if I'd found just the right thing I would have decided then its worth to me. I began to understand why there are people who love antiques...not just for their pecuniary worth, but for the links they give us to the past. Gosh I enjoyed myself...and I didn't spend a penny! 

My Sunday made me realise how much there is to do close to home. How many of us drive past countless interesting and potentially enjoyable experiences to do something or see something further from home. What is it that drives us to do that I wonder? Do we not trust things close to home? Are we afraid of being seen? Is there some status to be gained by travelling far to see and do things? Perhaps there is. Travel is costly. It proves that you 'did' because you could! I've decided to make it a bit of a challenge for myself to explore all the good things to do that are close to home. I don't have a lot of cash for travel, but it doesn't mean that I can't spread my horizons in a different way; by getting to know this area better. I think it will be fun and I'll be able to share with you here what I find. I also rediscovered that I can really enjoy a day out on my own, in my own head, with my own company...doing what I feel like doing. It's a bit of a treasure that. 

Taking myself back for a moment to that calm in the supermarket. I hope all the work you've done for Christmas is worth it. I hope you manage to relax and take a step back from it all and know that what really matters is taking a little time and spending it together...with whoever happens to be there with you...or if you are on your own to enjoy your own company. Do something kindly for yourself and if you're not enjoying being on your own then think about what you can do to change that. You can change your circumstances or you can change how you think about things. Great power in that! Those of you busy with family and friends, remember that you may have a neighbour who is lonely. An invitation for a meal or a drink and nibblies could make someone's day...perhaps a friendly chat over the fence? Be kind to yourself and to others. Employ a little give and take...and I'm not talking about gifts here. A little tolerance, a little gentleness towards our imperfections as human beings.

I do wish you all a very good Christmas. They will all be done differently but let's keep love and hope and peace and light at the centre of it all. Let's let go of the stress and the need to get everything just right. Think a little about those less fortunate...yes, we hear about them a lot and maybe we've donated a little here and there...isn't that enough? Well, yes, we do what we can...with the mindset we have. I'd ask you to remember that those hardships we see on the news or in the papers are not momentary or fleeting. They are minute by minute by hour by hour by day and night for days and weeks and months and sometimes years and decades. Please remember to count your blessings (if you are able to read this you are incredibly blessed...think about it)...and have yourself a merry little Christmas. 

Time management

There has been quite a discussion in the house this morning about the importance of time management. With the excitement of a full time job offer for next year, there is also the change in lifestyle to consider. This is causing some concern and the issues that have been raised will, I'm sure, relate to many of you as well as to me. I am giving them serious thought and hope to keep life as balanced as possible in 2014 so that I arrive at the Christmas break-up next year knowing that I've done a good job at work but also at home and for my family and myself. The problem in any professional job is that it's difficult...no, IMPOSSIBLE...to leave the job at work when you depart at the end of the day. When you work with people, their lives become entwined in your own as you think about what you can do to help them in their learning or their understanding. It is work filled with challenge and wonderful rewards and satisfaction, but it does come at a cost. 

I'm lucky that I have someone who can talk to me about the dangers of overdoing it and help me to consider what I need to do to prepare myself to sometimes say no to people, or to say I need time to make a decision. Under pressure one can become habitual in saying yes to every request and then suddenly there is not enough time and energy to manage the load properly or well. It's okay to say no sometimes. I need to remember that. Respectfully and caring-ly no. I'm sorry but if I do that then my core work will suffer...or my health will suffer. Core work. That is what I have to do now before I begin; know what my core work is. What has to be done? What are my goals? What do I want my life to look like? How do I want to feel about my job and my life? What systems can I put into place to allow that to happen as smoothly and completely as possible. They are big questions and I'm glad to know I have several weeks to think about these things and to make some notes about what my expectations are for my professional life and my personal life. 

We need to know that it's not just okay to take care of ourselves, but it is essential to do so. Being over-tired or over-committed or over-worked or over-stressed leads to mistakes and illness and burn-out. It's a great thing to realise that in any professional job you are part of a team and there are others to whom you can delegate or turn for help. It can be a temptation to try and do everything yourself so that it is done just the way you like it done. That was one of the great lessons at university. Team work is a marvellous thing. Sometimes if you're not at your best for one reason or another you can allow someone else to take a little more of the weight until you are firing on all cylinders again. Sometimes it's okay for you to do a little more than you see as your fair share when someone else is going through a difficult time. The problems come if one person is consistently expecting someone else to pick up their slack. The way someone else does a job may not be just as you would do it, but it is still just fine! Different but workable and functional and okay! Fairness must prevail in a successful team or partnership otherwise resentment will develop and undermine the whole system. A good attitude to have is to always do a little more than your fair share; not a lot more, but a little more. It's a good policy espoused by my children's father and it was given to him by his father. It sounds wise to me.

I'm beginning to understand that it can be easy to be overwhelmed if you forget to designate and underline time for your personal life. If I don't cut out a space each day for some rest and recreation, even if it's just a 20 minute walk and 20 minutes with my head in a good book...or 20 minutes in a warm scented bath with eyes shut and focus on my breath, I will become tired and grumpy with people at home and maybe with people at work too. That would be no good! I want to be able to make time to call in and have a cuppa with mum and dad on my way home from work. I want to know that I can relax and chat for 20 minutes to my kids who live in another state...and give them my whole attention for that short time.

Sometimes to do this well, I will have to say no to myself too. No, you can't watch that movie that finishes at 11.50pm...so don't even watch the start at 9.30! No, you can't slack on your exercise today because you missed yesterday...it will soon be a habit (as it is now...and that is something I'm planning to fix in the holidays!!) No, you can't put off talking to someone about that thing that is bothering you because it will get you down and distract you from your rest or your work. I will have to be present in the moment and decide to deal with things...all things...in a timely manner so that they are not a hanging weight in the back of my mind causing unnecessary stress and worry. And I will have to learn sometimes just to let things go and not feel cranky or upset...letting go of things like that can be very beneficial to health. Sometimes things are just not worth getting worked up about!

Well, I'm sure I've read somewhere that awareness is the first step. So I'm aware of some of the pitfalls in working a full time job in a caring profession. I'm aware that I must take care of business and I must take care of myself. Next step must be to create a plan. We all know that plans need to be tweaked and adjusted as we live them, but if we don't make them to start with, we have no framework, no guidelines, no idea when to say no and when to say yes. If we don't know what our core work is then we can't focus on it and make sure it gets done well. Planning is my next phase. If I ever say no to you, and sometimes I will no doubt have to say no to writing, in order to get some sleep or to go for a walk or to sit and have a natter with a loved one...please understand that it's not because I don't care...it's because I do...

There are lots of people out there working full time. Most people do, and  many think nothing of working themselves into a frenzy and taking to drugs or alcohol or some other thing to help them cope. I won't even begin to go into the implications of making those choices. We are not taught to say no. As children we are told it's rude to say no. As teens we are seen as rebellious to say no to things. It's important to be able to say no. Yes, it is! Let's all keep one another accountable. How are you taking care of yourself and creating a balanced lifestyle but still making sure your core work gets done? 

I'd love to hear your ideas or hints to help me get things together in the best way I can, and maybe some other readers too. Cheers, Kerry

Giving thanks

The past few days have been full of exciting surprises for me and I just want to acknowledge my very good fortune. Apart from all the obvious goodness in life like family and friends, a roof over my head, ample food and clean water, I have had the unexpected blessing of accumulating some holiday pay during my part-time contract this year. The arrival of money when you don't expect it, even a relatively small amount, feels a bit like winning the Lotto! I have breathed a sigh of relief and delight in being able to be less frugal than I expected over the holiday period. I don't mind being frugal, but it's nice to have a little more freedom...that's for sure. 

I had a dental appointment on the same day that I found out about the holiday pay. I expected to part with a lot of money to have my teeth mended, but again, a lovely surprise. Only one small filling...one had fallen out only the night before, so it needed no drilling...just a wash, a dry and refill. I needed no anaesthetic either which was a bonus for someone who just doesn't like having injections, even though you hardly feel them these days. Big smiles as I left without needing to book a follow up appointment. The day was looking very fine!

Next thing my phone rang and it was then that I was told I have a contract for full-time work for 2014! I'd been on  tenterhooks for months while the education department placed all their permanent staff and was so thrilled to finally be offered a position at the local school for next year. Yippee!! So much goodness all in one day!

The past few days have been a whirl of last minute jobs and celebrations with students and work colleagues to see out the end of the 2013 school year. I am blessed to work with such a brilliant collection of wonderful people. Every one of them is dedicated to giving the best they can for the kids and their families. They are funny and witty and clever and beautiful people. I enjoy their company so much at work and socially. I feel very lucky indeed. 

There are some gorgeous folk here in town who have put an immense amount of time and money into creating a spectacular Christmas grotto display of their home and garden. In a few moments I was transported back to childhood. What a lovely gift to our town and especially to the children. I haven't got much in the way of decorations and don't feel a need to do much, but I really appreciate the efforts of those who go to so much trouble for the delight of others. Good on you and thanks!

Well, this is short and sweet today. I know there's lots of bad and lots of sad out there, but today I just wanted to share some happy with you. A wise man once told me that you see what you're looking for. Let's try for a few days to look at the good stuff that happens for us, and the good stuff we can do for others. Wishing you love and light and happiness...the eyes to see it and the heart to feel it. To all the 'Scrooges' out there...all the 'Bah, humbug!' folk...find a little something you can do for someone and feel a little spark light in your heart...It might just be a smile but we can all give something. 

So thanks to God, to the Universe, to the goodness of life, to family and friends and others. You fill my life with wonder and goodness and blessings. The countdown to Christmas is on. Wishing you peace and joy.

Reindeer Hospital

This afternoon I found two rather sad little reindeer tucked away in a shoe box and looking like they would miss out on Christmas this year. Long years ago my then young daughter had crafted triplet reindeer with cork heads and bodies, barbeque match legs, bead feet and antlers from something I can't now identify. The tiny  shoe box held a few token Christmas items that I kept after a massive downsize a few years ago when I was moving into a single room to take up my first post as a graduate teacher. I dragged them out the other day and noticed that two of the reindeer had suffered from the trauma of moving house thrice more since then, and suggested that David might be able to fix them with some TLC and glue. Unfortunately he's had the man-flu  for most of the past week and I blame that for said reindeer being shut back inside the box and returned to the shelf in my office. I had noticed the lone fit and well reindeer sitting forlorn in the kitchen next to the mug tree, doing its best to add some festive cheer, and thought that perhaps three cork and match stick reindeer might just have been more Christmas than he could take (it's still two and a half weeks away, after all). Today, though, the truth revealed itself (the broken ones hadn't been fixed!!) and I wondered for a brief moment what to do. 

Nope, I'm not being truthful. I looked at the poor wretched things adrift in the shoe box with a very cute golliwog Santa,  a hand knitted red and white doll mum gave me last Christmas and a Santa brooch made by a Queensland pal; I knew that I had some fixing to do. Pronto! I have a bottle of PVA glue on my desk so with a deft stroke of  black permanent marker, the shoe box was converted to a Reindeer Hospital. The other banished Christmas friends were quickly moved to perches in the bare twig tree I have arranged here on my desk and they seemed to feel most at home. Hospital established, I applied one squirt of glue to a broken antler, and another squirt of glue to a broken leg. I propped the little fellows gently against the inside of the box and waited a few hours and voila! They are like new again! Well, almost. Their wee googly eyes are tinged an aging yellow which I'm sure is just the ravages of time, but otherwise they look as spunky and cute as the day they were first made.

You can spend all you like on new things for Christmas. The shops will never (within reason) run out of things for you to spend your hard earned cash on. There's all sorts of stuff with varying degrees of wow factor...but I don't think you can beat something made by the hands of someone you love. I'll take some pictures and load them on tomorrow [finally got to it Wednesday!] for you to have a look...but for tonight I want to get this posted and find out if that new email subscribe button really works. I've subscribed just so that I can keep an eye on how things are working. Hope you're having fun getting ready for Christmas. Hope you're finding things you'd forgotten about during the year and that maybe this will inspire you to do a bit of fixing too, so that you can enjoy some of those old treasures for just a little longer. Or perhaps you'll create some new treasures from bits and pieces around the house. It just takes a bit of imagination and some time...and a willingness to experiment a bit and have fun! Wishing you luck and love and prosperity. Oh, and I hope David isn't going to mind having three little yellow eyed reindeer standing vigil under the mug tree tonight.

Bloody Lovely Cake

What a very busy week it's been here in southern Tassie! On top of work there was a trip to Hobart with Mum and a lovely day out with Dad. Mum and Dad live happily together, and I often pop in for a cuppa or a brief chat on my way home from work, but I really enjoy spending time with them one on one. Maybe I'm a little greedy enjoying their company all on my own...but I figure none of us is going to live forever and I'd prefer not to have those awful regrets that creep in when opportunities have been missed or put off until too late. 

I've been a bit slack lately about days out with Dad. When I was staying with them a year or so ago, we managed a few little sojourns to town for coffee and cake or hot chips on the river. A day out with Mum reminded me that I haven't had a day out with Dad for ages, so that was it.  A spur of the moment phone call and I had a date for 1 o'clock. When we have a day out these days, I do the driving. Dad's driven me places enough over the years - to school, parties, dances, hockey practice and to feed the horses or to friends' homes for visits. It's cool that I can return the favour and let him relax in the passenger's seat. He was hanging on tightly to the vinyl hand hanger thing at the top of the window for most of the trip, but I'm hoping that was just a comfort thing and not 'hanging on for dear life'! I explained that since I've written about Double White Lines and crossing them, I'm being super vigilant with my driving because I'm sure it will be noticed if I take any shortcuts or heaven forbid break the speed limit. So he was perfectly safe and I was driving very carefully. But still he hung on...hmmm. 

We chatted on the way about this and that. He told me a few of his old stories. You have a lot of stories when you're past eighty years old, but some of them become favourites. I suppose when I think about it, that they are the ones that have been defining moments in his life. The stories are ones that tell of forks in the road of life; when decisions had to be made and when the influence of others made him take this path or that. Sometimes it sounds a bit like he wishes he had taken other paths along the way. I think he is explaining how and why he ended up here, in this place and this time. I wonder if it gives him some sense of comfort in revisiting those times...but they are not particularly happy stories. Often they are tinged with a sense of almost apology, as if he wishes somehow he had done more, or done better. There is sometimes a feeling of helplessness in those tales. I suppose a young man is at the beck and call of his father in many ways. A father may appear to be giving his son a set of options or choices, but he will phrase the choice in a way that makes one option the clear best choice. It may not have been the best choice for the son, but it would have felt like the only one at the time; like any other choice would be fairly silly. I sense a tinge of regret. Perhaps if he'd taken the more difficult path, he might have been a master builder. Instead he went into business with his father. I wonder if there are lessons in the stories...not just for Dad, but for me too as I listen. The easiest and most obvious route is not always the best perhaps.

Grandad,  my Dad's father, was a big part of my life during my primary and high school years. He too drove me many places. Nanna and Grandad lived with us for a time, and as Mum and Dad both worked, my grandparents featured largely in life. I am surprised when Dad tells me stories about Grandad. To me he was always a big loving lump of a man who loved to feed kookaburras and who made me doll's furniture! The only time I ever saw him angry with me was one time when I cast the top of this best fishing rod into the river and then cut the line when I couldn't retrieve it. He couldn't believe I was stupid enough to cut the line. 

I was fishing with my then boyfriend and we had borrowed fishing rods from Grandad. He had several and he took great pride in whipping the eyes on with fine coloured thread. They were truly beautiful things. Well, I was his only grand-daughter and until I lost the top of his fishing rod, I do believe the sun shone out of my rear end in his eyes; I could do no wrong! Alas that was not the truth. Quite innocently, as I made a huge sweep and cast the hook, carefully baited with chubby pink worm, into the middle of the river, the top of that beautiful hand crafted fishing rod sailed after it and presumably speared itself firmly into the soft mud at the bottom of the river. Or perhaps wedged itself between some rocks. Regardless, the river refused to relinquish it despite long and persistent pulling it this way and that and walking along the river bank this way and that to try from every available angle. Filled with despair, it seemed the only thing to do was to cut the line. 

Later, after a very nerve wracking talk with Grandad, it was made clear to me that the sensible thing to have done would have been to tie the line to a tree or bush or something similar and then to have come home and fetched Grandad who would have found someone with a boat who would have helped him to rescue the rod. But it was too late. I had done the unthinkable and it couldn't be undone. Golly gosh. I've just realised that I still feel guilty about it all these years later! But how can we be guilty for not having that wisdom we gain only by making mistakes? Experience itself is the best teacher, is it not? 

I wonder if that's what Dad's feeling when he talks about things that happened in his life. I wonder if he feels a bit guilty about not having that wisdom back then. Surely that is the value of reflection through life. Ahhh, what we all might have done differently if we'd known what we couldn't know. What we know now. Anger, despair, regret...for not choosing differently. Perhaps all these can be signs that we have learned the lessons we needed to learn. The mistakes we've made have shown us what we couldn't have known otherwise. That wisdom gained by living and getting it wrong sometimes, when we remember to use it, can help us later. Sometimes, though, we have to make the same kind of mistake many times before the wisdom comes. 

I look at the lives around me...being lived in so many different ways. There are so many choices; so many decisions for us to make. It's easy to see how other people ought to do things; to judge others for not being wiser. Choices and decisions are hard. Make them in a second or agonise over them for weeks; still you must live with the consequences. Choices...which reminds me to tell you that Bloody Lovely Cake, a delicacy available in my favourite coffee shop, is always a good choice. Once long ago, my lovely daughter said to me when trying frozen mango sorbet, "Mum, you know how everything has a good side and a bad side?...well this has no bad side!" Bloody Lovely Cake is a bit like that. I had a Berry Smoothie to go with mine, and Dad had a Lime Milkshake to go with his. Good choices all round. Yum!

PS Dad came out with me for the afternoon even though the cricket was on the television...the Ashes...I feel so very loved!!

Double White Lines

Hate to whinge but I think this is an issue I need to raise in the interests of keeping people alive in beautiful Far South Tasmania and perhaps other places too. It's been drawn to my attention recently that a huge number of our drivers (and it used to include me until I had this drawn to my attention, hence my interest in sharing with you)...a huge number of our drivers cross double white lines when driving. I completely understand why people do it. It is less trouble than staying on the right side of the road when tackling all those little and larger bends in our roads. The thing is that it seems to have become a habit that we give little thought to. I admit to having a few little Graham Hill moments as I traversed the bends between Dover and Huonville...only when the road is dry of course...I think there is a little racing driver in us all, but now that I've had the error in my ways pointed out, I'm going to do the same for you (if you do it too) and maybe keep you safer than you might have been.

According to page 8 of the Tasmanian Road Rules Booklet, continuous double white lines are not to be crossed unless to avoid a hazard on the road, and only then if it is safe. The reason for continuous double white lines is that a driver's view of oncoming traffic is considered insufficient for safe maneuvering of the vehicle to the opposite side of the road. I have noticed in recent times that many Tasmanian vehicles are crossing those lines to a significant degree and are coming very close to colliding with me who is driving the other way. Habits come very easily, and especially bad ones! It's easier to drive a straighter line to where you are going, but it is also more dangerous; not just for you but for your passengers and other road users. Consider how you would feel if you were responsible for killing or maiming someone just because you were in a bit of a hurry or driving a little lazily; being a little too relaxed about it all.

We can blame the condition of the roads. We can blame being distracted. We can claim that there's not a lot of traffic on our roads so we can relax a bit and it will all be okay. Reality is that the amount of traffic is increasing all the time. Reality is that large vehicles use our roads and they cannot get out of your way easily. Reality is that if you are on the wrong side of the road, for a great many stretches on our roads here, there is nowhere for the driver coming the other way to go to get out of your way. Reality is that you are driving at 80 or 90 kph on narrow windy roads, and the guy (or mum with a carload of kids) is coming the other way at a similar speed, and you are passing each other with about 30-40cm of air between you. If you're both on your own sides of the road, you might have a metre or a metre and a half. It's not much air guys. If someone gets distracted for a moment, it's a recipe for disaster.

May I contend that it's a miracle or at least a mystery that we have not lost lives or more lives on these roads with the way many of us are driving. I don't know how many accidents there have been but I do know there are a lot of 'near misses'. I've seen a lot. I bet you have too. I know a lot of people now drive larger vehicles, 4WDs or RVs, and they may have the impression that because they are up higher and have a better view of the road, that they can get away with crossing the lines and still being safe. I would say to you, remember that you are not the only person you need to think about. The person coming the other way may be less than completely focused on driving. They may be distracted or under the influence of drugs or alcohol. They may be distressed for some reason and not concentrating. We can say that they  shouldn't be driving if that's the case, but we all know the pressure we are under to go places and to be places. Life is busy. People do things without thinking sometimes. The more of us that are consciously making the decision to drive safely, the better chance we have of taking up the slack where others aren't taking care. 

This is sounding a lot like a lecture. I suppose it is in a sense. I want you to have a think about your own driving habits and the habits of those you drive with. Cutting corner is easy, but it is not really wise. We drive so often and take it for granted that we can jump in the car and go without a second thought. For many people around our beautiful state and our beautiful country, an innocent and everyday journey has ended in tragedy. Do your very best always to ensure that you do not become one of them.

Drive safely people. Think carefully. Be wise.

PS Something else I just thought about. If you drive with your children in the car, they are likely to do what you do when they grow up and get their licences to drive. If you cut corners so will they. If you break the speed limits so will they. If you drive with one hand on the wheel, so will they.  If you drive safely and respect the laws of the road, then there is more chance that they will too. You are your children's best teachers. Teach them well by example. Thank you.

PPS Oh, and crossing continuous double white lines is breaking the law. Just sayin'.

From www.thechronicle.com.au

Please leave a comment if this has made you think about your own driving habits if you dare! I'd love to hear from you. Kerry :)

The Fine Art of Hanging the Washing

How many of you find this an activity that leads to conflict in the household?

Who taught you how to hang washing? Why do you do it the way you do? 

Have you ever considered these questions? 

I’m going to right now. Well, first I’m going to explain why.

As many of you know, I live with David and because I moved in with David who already had a washing machine, and because he is the most super of house-hubbies, he has been doing the washing ever since. Okay, one day I might learn how to operate his digital washing machine, but until I develop the courage to take that on, I’m happy enough to leave things as they are. Well, this morning some washing had come to the end of its cycle (or so I thought) so I said I’d hang  it out. I was just wanting to promote the ‘we’re in this together’ feeling and he was busy with something else…

So I dragged the load out of the machine, impressed that it could hold such a big load too! I started to hang things…the way I always hang them…the way I’ve been hanging them since I was probably knee high to a gnat and my mother began training me in the Finer Art of Hanging Wet Clothing on a Washing Line. I hang tops right across the line with the pegs placed on the seam under the armpit area where the sleeve joins the body. The reason for doing this is that the top dries nice and flat and either 1) needs little ironing in the case of more traditional cotton based fabrics or 2) just needs folding with more modern poly-cotton models. You can see this is based on sound science and generations of experimentation and discovery. House-hubby noticed what I was doing and commented, “Don’t you think it would be better to hang them from the end? Wouldn't they dry better then?” or similar. I smiled (I think…maybe not) and said, “Let’s see what happens shall we?” 

Notice that I swiftly avoided conflict in the outer world but my inner world was piping up in protest!

• “Well, don’t you think that if I thought they would dry better some other way then I’d hang them some other way??”
• "I’m 55 years old. I've been hanging washing on the line since I was knee high to a gnat. I think I know what I’m doing, don’t you?” (insert raised eyebrows here)
• ”My mother showed me how to hang washing and I've always done it this way…and it works just fine!”
• “I've dried washing on boats in ten days straight raining…don’t tell me how to dry washing!!!”

After I got my brain to settle down a bit I did the only sensible thing a girl could do (you may argue with this point and that is fine)…I went back along the line and hung his stuff from the bottom. Ah, great compromise girl, and no feelings hurt. Then I noticed him getting the clothes horse set up inside near the fire. Hmmm this is not over yet I thought. He popped out the door and came back with an armload of quite soggy clothes. “I think you took them out before they’d finished spinning,” he quaffed.

I smiled to myself. I don’t mind if he brings it all inside to dry. That’s okay. I did wonder about whether I’d pulled them out too soon. The machine kept beeping a little digital song at me while I was getting things out and I noticed a light flashing alongside rinse (after I’d finished hanging them all), but they all smelled clean and not soapy (yes, I checked by rinsing a small item under the tap because they did seem a bit soggy; no soap came out!) and it seemed to have finished doing whatever it was doing. It was still and quiet. Now I think it was sitting quietly waiting to add more water for the second rinse. Right now I’m thinking I won’t give up my day job! I may well be banished to the computer to keep doing something I understand better; writing!

My cousin has a special way of hanging washing too. She likes to use matching pegs; each item has two red pegs or two blue pegs or two orange pegs. Or she did some years back – don’t know if that’s changed. I’m not sure if it’s something she learned from her mum or just something she does…must ask sometime!  

When I lived in Southern Tasmania a long time ago I used to boil all our handkerchiefs.  I used a pot specially reserved for that job, and I’d hang them on the lines I had strung up inside near the fire…and I used to count them. I know, it’s weird but I did. Do you know we had somewhere in the vicinity of eighty handkerchiefs? That’s ridiculous!

How about this one! I once read that towels actually dry more quickly if you hang them over the line rather than from the end. There was some scientific explanation for it in the article, but I can’t remember now; something to do with air flow…like with sailing boats. I hope someone out there might test it with a timer and get back to me with the results so I can use the data to shore up my reasoning for hanging stuff across the line.  It seems probable that the Hanging of Washing has forged habits and fostered theories world-wide…and no doubt conflict and arguments.

I remember once doing a Positive Parenting course and the presenter used the Fine Art of Hanging the Washing to explore and expose the different ways that we do things…all sorts of things…and how we can be so sure we do things the ‘right’ way or the ‘best’ way. Really, we just do things differently. I might struggle with the intricacies of the digital washing machine, but in the end we get clean, dry clothes to wear and that’s the main thing. It’s not worth arguing about.

I’d love to hear about how you hang the washing; maybe I’ll learn some new tricks from you!

Cowfish

Just lately I've been trying very hard to make better choices for my health. It’s a funny thing that with all the choices we have with food, all the great places we have to exercise, all the time we have that we could use to benefit our health through meditation or reflection or by spending unflustered time with loved ones, all the knowledge we have of the components of a healthy lifestyle…yet many of us choose to live in a way that doesn't promote good health. We rely on pain relief medications to get through many of our days and feel bloated or overweight or generally off colour. The dashboard for my body (apart from the pressure of my pants around my middle) is eczema. It very quickly lets me know when I’m out of line. 

Once upon a time, I had eczema so badly that I had both hands bandaged a lot of the time. I had weeping blistery eruptions and unbelievable itching and the bandages helped to remind me not to scratch. Not sure that worked too well but I tried anyway. To my great good fortune, when I moved to Southern Tasmania back in the late 1980s, a new friend told me about a local woman who was a naturopath and herbalist and that I should pay her a visit. She looked into my eyes and told me many things she could see but the upshot of the analysis was that my body was in an acidic state and the eczema was a response to that. She sold me a bottle of herbal mixture to give me a boost and instructed me to eat less animal proteins and to introduce a big dark green salad into my daily eating habits.

We had quite a nice productive veggie garden at the time so I was able to wander each morning and gather fresh young silver-beet, onion tops, beetroot leaves, spinach and petals from calendula and borage flowers to add colour.  I would slice the greens super fine after washing them well, and chopped and grated other vegetables into the mix; tomatoes, cucumber, capsicum, carrots and anything else I had to hand. I added a good sprinkle of sunflower, pumpkin or sesame seeds as she had also suggested and a simple dressing of olive oil and vinegar. Well, the results were quite amazing and soon my skin had cleared up completely. Over the years I’ve had outbreaks now and then, and the interesting thing was that I could guarantee that it would pop up on one knuckle anytime we went to my mum-in-laws house for dinner. She always served roasted lamb, which obviously was not a good thing for me.

I’ve been vegetarian on and off since I was thirteen and still remember with great fondness the day our family had gone in a fundraiser car rally though Dad’s work.  At the culminating barbecue Mum gently maneuvered the soy bean sausages she had so lovingly made for me onto the wire grill only to watch in dismay as most of them disintegrated and fell into the fire below! She must have loved me a lot to go to all that trouble. I remember having a few singed bits and pieces that were salvaged but they were a bit disappointing for a girl who was used to proper snags…but this was a great moral cause for me…it was not about my health so I carried on bravely, no doubt feeling quite puritanical for my efforts. Now I can buy sausages, burgers, bits, roasts, all sorts of things made from soy beans – even cheese! I choose to be vegetarian most of the time now. I eat fish occasionally and eggs from friends’ hens that I know are well cared for. I’ve spent times in boxes called ‘VEGETARIAN’ and ‘VEGAN’ and ‘PESCATARIAN’ but now if anyone asks I’ll say I’m a flexitarian. Long ago I got tired of explaining why I eat the way I do or what I eat and what I choose not to. We have the great privilege to be able to reinvent ourselves though the course of our lifetimes, and there is no need to adhere to a particular way of being if you find something that is healthier and better for you. It’s all about finding what works best for you.

Back to the eczema issue. I've had an irritating re-occurrence that has hung about for the past six months or so. I know what to do to fix it, but I've been lucky enough to have the lovely David cooking for me as he is much keener on the kitchen that I am. He is the product of an English/Italian background and plies me with wonderful cheesy, creamy, buttery pasta based delights and a salad for him is based on stuff out of tins. No criticism. We are all different and that works for him. It doesn't work so well for me….sadly…it is all so delicious! So I’ve taken myself back into the kitchen and I’m doing less grain foods and no animal dairy foods. I’m doing more green smoothies (aka pond sludge) and big green delicious salads that take ages to eat but I know they’re doing me good.  The eczema is slowly caving in and returning to where it came from and I am feeling calmer and more in control of my destiny! I’ve started walking again too…at last!

A friend called in the other day for a cuppa and while he was here I was talking about munching away happily on chocolate even though I know it’s not helping me right now. He made a statement that rammed itself into my brain; SICK PEOPLE CAN’T MAKE GOOD CHOICES FOR THEMSELVES. Wow! Isn't that so true. All the time my health is below par I’m hankering for chocolate, biscuits, ice-cream, pies, sugary drinks…(which reminds me that I did write recently that I’d stop sugar again due to headaches…but I didn't do so well and now I get it…sick people can’t make good choices…). So I have that statement firmly in my head and I know I’ve been unwell for ages and making poor choices for my health. I can make better choices. I will make better choices. I am making better choices. I've been enjoying my walks so much! I miss them when I’m not going, but I just couldn't seem to get moving. Now I’m moving and feeling good. Which leads me to today’s story; the Cowfish.

I was walking on the beach last night, on my way home and thinking to myself wouldn't it be cool to find something really interesting for the beach combing collection. Do you have one of those? All of us that live near the sea seem to acquire a collection of odd bits and pieces that we find along the shore. It’s always changing…always bringing new surprises with every tide. Well, I was wandering along with that thought in my head and spotted a rather interesting looking roundish, sandy coloured rock that was not a rock. Venturing closer to investigate, I found it was a very dead fascinating little creature with a horny, rough but beautifully patterned exoskeleton…in good condition but a little smelly. Just what I was hoping for; something unusual and interesting.  Carrying it gently but firmly by the tail, I headed up the hill towards home. En route I considered what my story would be for David, if he found it disgusting or odd that I should carry a dead fish home.

Well, I’m a Leo…and they are cats….and cats carry all sorts of things home to show their families…and that is my story. I couldn't help it because I’m a Leo.  Luckily he needed no convincing that this was indeed a treasure and I used his Iphone to Google Images and confirm that it was a Cowfish as I suspected. In fact, it appears to be a Shaw’s Cowfish, but feel welcome to enlighten me if you know differently. That’s me for today; choosing to live better because I can. I’m lucky; I have a choice. 

Why would any of us choose to remain unwell when we can choose to be well? Let’s leave that little question for another day.

This is a picture of a living Shaw's Cowfish (C) Duncan Giblin taken in Norfolk Bay, Southeastern Tasmania. I hope he won't mind me sharing it with you here.

Poor little Cowfish suspended by linen thread to allow the forces of nature to reduce it to its hard shell.

I had placed it near where some bull ants had been seen in the garden...with a heavy clay pot over the top of it...hoping the ants would clean it up for me. This is a method commonly used to clean seashells that smell unfriendly. Please make sure the creatures are deceased before using this method - bad smell is usually a good indicator.

You can see some of the delicate and beautiful patterning on the side here. Amazing creature.

Things sent to try us!

For the past couple of months, since I moved with David into this lovely little house on the hillside looking over the bay, my computer has been set up in the open-plan living area. The desk it was set upon was a lovely roll-top timber one, and David carved a hole in the back of it to feed all the wires through so they were out of sight and tidy. The trouble is that the desk was a little bit small so the keyboard was right on the edge of the desk and the screen almost directly above it. I understood that it was nice for me to be there in the middle of things, but the truth is that for me, as a writer, I operate better with all my bits n pieces of clutter around me and I need my wrists resting on the desk as I type and the screen to be a good two feet away from my face. I tried to cope with it there at the back of the couch with the tv playing happily over to my right, but what happened was…I couldn't write. We all know that artists can be fickle, and it seems even this humble blog writer was completely and frustratingly stymied by the situation.

This morning I drew enough courage to move the computer outside to my office space outside next to the garage. Now that might seem a simple enough thing and one that wouldn't cause the average Joe or Josephine the slightest ruffle, but for me this was a hard thing to do. I didn't want to hurt David’s feelings after all the rearranging of things he had done, including the modification to his lovely timber desk, to make sure I was there with him in the lounge area so that I could theoretically work away on my blog or whatever project was in the offing whilst he relaxed and watched tv. Dilemma. 

I don’t like to hurt anyone. I don’t like to upset anyone. And sometimes because I am tip-toeing around trying not to annoy anyone, I become annoying!! So really, to take the bull by the horns today and move the computer is a victory for me and better for us all because 1) You get to read another of my daggy confessions while you have a cup of tea or a stiff drink and 2) The niggling discomfort of being in a space I was not happy in is now gone and 3) Because I am not tip-toeing anymore and worrying about being annoying, I am hopefully, going to be less difficult to live with!

I have my reasons for being so odd in my approach to things, as many of us do, but I’m not going into all that. I’m just sitting here blissfully happy at my great big folding trestle table desk with my large twig Christmas tree embellished with clay birds and hearts that Mum and I sat here and threaded and beaded last weekend reaching over the top of the computer screen, and I finally feel at home again. I can write without the slightest inhibition because I have everything just where I need it. The thing is…when I first connected everything up and got ready to roll, there was no internet signal. Blah! The things sent to try us! I thought to myself…here I am, finally got this where I need it and now I can’t post a blog even if I write one. How to get around that one??? Well, it seems a bit of patience is paying off and now I have a couple of bars of signal. Will it be enough to get online and actually do anything? I’m not sure. I do love a good internet connection, don’t you?

Many of the older folk I talk to…yes, I mean older than me…who have a computer but don’t see the point in having it really, are suffering from either a computer virus, too little RAM memory (as opposed to failing brain cell memory) or a crummy internet connection. When everything is working as it should they are just brilliant. I love my computer and the connection it gives me to the world out there…to you! I will keep going with my writing regardless, and store them up in Word Docs for you, and I’ll post them when I have a good signal. How does that sound?

As if in response to my inner self, the dull, wet, dreary morning has transformed to a wonder of sunlit sparkling droplets outside my window here. If I look over my right shoulder I can still catch a glimpse of the bay through the trees through the open door. It’s good to be alive and it’s good to be writing again. 

Until soon, Kerry 

PS I don't mean to sound like a spoiled brat...and not for a moment do I take for granted what I have here. My heart breaks when I see on the tv the devastation around the world through natural disasters, wars, negligence, abuse, poverty and illness. The people and animals in the midst of all those things are being tested to the limits of their endurance and it is sometimes pathetic to think of the small things that we find inconvenient in our lives. Last week I heard someone grumbling at the supermarket because there was an aisle with a dead-end...they had to do a U-turn with their trolley. There is a major refit going on as the store is brought up to national standards. I was stunned as I felt their angry demeanor and saw their stern faces. Perhaps they weren't well so things were harder for them...I don't know, and I don't mean to criticize, but gosh we are well off if we have a supermarket to shop in, money to pay for food, and legs that can get us there to do it. So please forgive my grumbling and give a thought to those that need your positive vibes and loving prayers to sustain them as they go through circumstances none of us would choose. Love to you all out there. 

Carwash Sunday - it only happens twice a year!!

I lay in bed this morning feeling very relaxed and happy here in our little home on the hill looking out over the bay. Sunday mornings are lovely aren't they...no alarm clocks...time to just be in the moment and enjoy the thrill of being alive. As I lay there I noticed that it wasn't raining and started to entertain the idea of cleaning my car. I have such a beaut little car and I never take it for granted. I am so lucky to have the convenience of a small car that uses little fuel and that stands at my beck and call. It is my car so it is always there waiting for me. What a huge privilege it is to be able to decide to go somewhere, step outside the door and go. There are millions of people around the world who don't have that simple luxury...I am so thankful. I count my blessings. I am content. 

My trusty little Hyundai is a '99 model so in its fourteenth year. The paint is kind of shabby and sad looking and there is a bump in the hood that's been there since we bought it second-hand back in about 2003 or '4. The owner said she'd hit a kangaroo one night on the way home from work and that had caused the damage. It's only a little bump and I can't imagine ever having it fixed as it's part of her history, assuming the car is female for now! In the same way I'm sure I'll never have Botox or a facelife; my face and body show that I have lived and I'm happy for that to be as it is. Imperfections are a bonus in a way. I can't imagine having the worry of a new and shiny car in the parking lot and waiting for some careless person to drag a supermarket trolley or bicycle handle down its length. My little car is rough and ready enough that another little bump or scratch is not the end of the world. At the same time, she's neat enough that I'm not embarrassed to drive her!! 

Did I mention that cleaning the car is one of my least favourite jobs? It is. I never mind doing it once I get started but getting started is next to impossible. I don't know why it's so hard...or what it is that makes me decide 'no' so regularly. Perhaps it's just an idiosyncrasy! Anyway, laying in bed I decided that I would clean the car. I was feeling quite energetic given that I've had a week of headaches and head colds and blocked sinuses. You know how it is when you start to feel better again...I can do anything!!! Move mountains! Maybe we need that down time feeling a bit crook to gain a bit of strength and energy for such an onerous task. 

Yesterday I achieved great things. My good friend Sue delivered two bookshelves into my tender loving care as she is busy down-sizing, and I needed more shelving to store my books and paperwork and...stuff. Woohoo! I was so excited to know I could finally get organised.  My office space is in a room outside attached to the side of the garage and it is also the storage area as we can't use the garage. I know that seems weird but we're renting here and the owners, who are off adventuring on the high seas, have their stuff in the garage. So in that room are the tools and the camping stuff, the spare bed, the freezer and lots of other junk. Arranged more of less. And I had to find space to get two bookshelves in there too. I knew they were going to make things better, but it didn't necessarily look that way to begin with and I was getting some sideways glances as I assured David that it would all work out just fine. I got stuck into it...lots of muscle lugging stuff this way and that ( I work better alone in situations like this...where I'm organising my 'stuff')...and by 7 o'clock last night I had a well organised and functional space so was very chuffed. I think that's what spurred me to greater things today...what gave me the courage to tackle the car.

The fact that the car doesn't get cleaned very often means it can be a bit of a job. I don't store old cans, bottles and wrappers or anything like that...but still, it does get gritty and dusty and generally sad looking. I dug the vacuum cleaner out of the storage room, found the bag with the extension cords and moved the car into the nearest to the power-point position. I opened the doors and the boot. The hydraulics in the boot are temperamental and I didn't want to be slammed on the head so I went back and found the wind out curtain rail (also in the storage room) and wound it out and placed it so the boot was held safely aloft. I started to vacuum...it was a mess in there because I've used it for carting wood for the fire and have never thought of using a tarp...you know those cheap blue ones you get from the bargain shops...well after picking and vacuuming seventeen million splinters from the carpet in the boot I've decided to get one! Someone please put it on the Christmas list 'cos I'm sure to forget. While I was busy I noticed a few spots of rain. Darn...I had several extension cords hooked up to one another to stretch across the distance so I found a magnetic white board (a small one) and a pewter bowl with seashells molded into the rim and placed them over the joins. Safety first! I did have to work around a few showers and I did bang myself a beauty on the side of the head whilst doing the inside of the car...so hard it made me feel sick! I kept going for a while but then took a breakfast break while I gathered my senses again! 

There were other minor hurdles like what I think was the window tint breaking down on the passenger side window...it was tough to move and disintegrated into beautiful silver fairy dust as I scrubbed...but first created a whitish paste...it was very odd. I'm very proud to report that I have a moderately clean car. I've Windex-ed the dash and dry shampooed the carpet and upholstery. She smells amazing and looks pretty spiffy too for an old girl. I might have washed the outside too, but between the two households we have recently blended to create a new us, we seem not to have a bucket! Please also add that to the Christmas list, haha!! I thought about taking her through the car wash this afternoon so the outside can look as good, but for now I'm making do with cleaning the side mirrors. I don't want to overdo it. She may die of shock and I'd miss her too much. Besides...I'm sure the spider that festoons the mirrors on a daily basis would find the weather a little too chilly for a high pressure wash at this time of year...perhaps around January when it's hot and dry. Although it would hardly be worth it then...with all the dust on our road.

Which jobs do find you keep on putting off...almost forever!??

PS I did head to the bargain shop this afternoon, to buy pegs and a few other bits for school. I forgot to pick up a bucket and a small tarp...see above!