For the past couple of months, since I moved with David into this lovely little house on the hillside looking over the bay, my computer has been set up in the open-plan living area. The desk it was set upon was a lovely roll-top timber one, and David carved a hole in the back of it to feed all the wires through so they were out of sight and tidy. The trouble is that the desk was a little bit small so the keyboard was right on the edge of the desk and the screen almost directly above it. I understood that it was nice for me to be there in the middle of things, but the truth is that for me, as a writer, I operate better with all my bits n pieces of clutter around me and I need my wrists resting on the desk as I type and the screen to be a good two feet away from my face. I tried to cope with it there at the back of the couch with the tv playing happily over to my right, but what happened was…I couldn't write. We all know that artists can be fickle, and it seems even this humble blog writer was completely and frustratingly stymied by the situation.
This morning I drew enough courage to move the computer outside to my office space outside next to the garage. Now that might seem a simple enough thing and one that wouldn't cause the average Joe or Josephine the slightest ruffle, but for me this was a hard thing to do. I didn't want to hurt David’s feelings after all the rearranging of things he had done, including the modification to his lovely timber desk, to make sure I was there with him in the lounge area so that I could theoretically work away on my blog or whatever project was in the offing whilst he relaxed and watched tv. Dilemma.
I don’t like to hurt anyone. I don’t like to upset anyone. And sometimes because I am tip-toeing around trying not to annoy anyone, I become annoying!! So really, to take the bull by the horns today and move the computer is a victory for me and better for us all because 1) You get to read another of my daggy confessions while you have a cup of tea or a stiff drink and 2) The niggling discomfort of being in a space I was not happy in is now gone and 3) Because I am not tip-toeing anymore and worrying about being annoying, I am hopefully, going to be less difficult to live with!
I have my reasons for being so odd in my approach to things, as many of us do, but I’m not going into all that. I’m just sitting here blissfully happy at my great big folding trestle table desk with my large twig Christmas tree embellished with clay birds and hearts that Mum and I sat here and threaded and beaded last weekend reaching over the top of the computer screen, and I finally feel at home again. I can write without the slightest inhibition because I have everything just where I need it. The thing is…when I first connected everything up and got ready to roll, there was no internet signal. Blah! The things sent to try us! I thought to myself…here I am, finally got this where I need it and now I can’t post a blog even if I write one. How to get around that one??? Well, it seems a bit of patience is paying off and now I have a couple of bars of signal. Will it be enough to get online and actually do anything? I’m not sure. I do love a good internet connection, don’t you?
Many of the older folk I talk to…yes, I mean older than me…who have a computer but don’t see the point in having it really, are suffering from either a computer virus, too little RAM memory (as opposed to failing brain cell memory) or a crummy internet connection. When everything is working as it should they are just brilliant. I love my computer and the connection it gives me to the world out there…to you! I will keep going with my writing regardless, and store them up in Word Docs for you, and I’ll post them when I have a good signal. How does that sound?
As if in response to my inner self, the dull, wet, dreary morning has transformed to a wonder of sunlit sparkling droplets outside my window here. If I look over my right shoulder I can still catch a glimpse of the bay through the trees through the open door. It’s good to be alive and it’s good to be writing again.
Until soon, Kerry
PS I don't mean to sound like a spoiled brat...and not for a moment do I take for granted what I have here. My heart breaks when I see on the tv the devastation around the world through natural disasters, wars, negligence, abuse, poverty and illness. The people and animals in the midst of all those things are being tested to the limits of their endurance and it is sometimes pathetic to think of the small things that we find inconvenient in our lives. Last week I heard someone grumbling at the supermarket because there was an aisle with a dead-end...they had to do a U-turn with their trolley. There is a major refit going on as the store is brought up to national standards. I was stunned as I felt their angry demeanor and saw their stern faces. Perhaps they weren't well so things were harder for them...I don't know, and I don't mean to criticize, but gosh we are well off if we have a supermarket to shop in, money to pay for food, and legs that can get us there to do it. So please forgive my grumbling and give a thought to those that need your positive vibes and loving prayers to sustain them as they go through circumstances none of us would choose. Love to you all out there.