Dear FriendsLate evening tv has been a smorgasbord of murder, mental illness, violence, missing persons, rape and racial tension. I'm sure there was other stuff in there too but these issues are important to us all as they involve people that are like people we know. The stories jump out at us and remain close to our hearts, perhaps giving us cause to fear for our own safety or the safety of loved ones. We can feel as if the security of our quiet lives is under threat. We are wired to hear those threatening stories and to respond with the flight or fight 'mechanism'. Once upon a primal swamp, that was essential to our survival. I'm sitting here with heavy heart, imagining the grief of a mother bereaved of her young son and her husband in the same tragic incident. Every mother's heart will feel the tightening that measures a fear we all live with; that we might lose a child. I've heard it said that being a parent is the bravest thing you'll ever choose to do because in that act you agree to have your heart living outside your own body. Your heart travels everywhere with your children.
As I sat here feeling the weight of the sorrow from these reports, I made a conscious shift of mind to think about all the things that didn't make the news today. They wouldn't sell papers or current affairs advertising time but they are the stuff of life. The real stuff. Today, even in the small town where I live, hundreds of people woke up this morning and enjoyed a shower and a nourishing breakfast before heading to work or school. Hundreds of families chattered away together as they went through the busy morning routines finding clothes and shoes and homework. Husbands and wives, friends and lovers, children and families and friends went through their everyday tasks without a second thought. They smiled at each other and hugged each other, told jokes, patted the dog or washed the car and enjoyed the gleam that rewarded their hard work. They wrote letters and sent birthday, wedding, engagement, get well soon, sympathy and Valentine's cards. They mowed the lawn and weeded the garden or took a walk and found images of rabbits in the clouds. They went for a drive and stopped at a country cafe for coffee and apple danish. They browsed antique stores or shopped in supermarkets for food. They bought new shoes or cleaned out wardrobes and donated un-needed items to charity.
They made decisions to make some one else's life better; they started to support a child through a charity or registered to donate time to visit the aged or infirm. They volunteered in animal shelters and homeless shelters and soup kitchens. They touched the untouchable and reached the unreachable by doing what they do with love and sincerity and no need to be thanked or rewarded. They flew planes or traveled as passengers to far shores to learn about this vast global community. They spent time in new places and new cultures with new faces and foods and smells and sounds. They made their lives richer and will bring home new understandings and interests to share with friends and family. They read books and watched documentaries or soapies on tv. They worked and they relaxed and took pleasure from having time to take stock of life. They had thoughts and read comics and poems and looked at paintings and thought about how marvellous it can be to express oneself through art. They played music and danced behind closed curtains in case someone should see and think them mad...but they were joyful and free and happy for that time. They took children to school and collected them at home time. They sewed quilts and played football and made bets on the horses or the dogs. Some won. They learned to send an email or enroled for university courses in middle or old age...or right out of high school. They shaved legs and tweezed eye brows and put on moisturiser. They looked in the mirror and put on their best face for the world they were going out to meet. They lived their lives in the best way they could. No one will ever take much notice, but so many people do so many GOOD even GREAT things every single day. Hats off to us all for making the very best of life that we can.
We get a lot of news these days unless we make a choice to avoid it, and I have spent long periods of my life doing just that. The news, whilst it can be viewed as important, carries such a skewed view of the world as it really is. News is shaped and presented in the way that ensures the greatest sales of advertising or that furthers the political stance of the station owners. I was fortunate enough to be at an event many years ago; a fire walking ceremony on a beach on Magnetic Island off Townsville. The news teams were there recording the event and I watched it later on tv. I have to tell you that the tv coverage of the event was nothing like being there. It was as if they'd been at another event altogether. It has made me wary of news reports.
I guess I'm just trying to say that whilst it's not healthy to pretend that nothing bad ever happens or that other people are not suffering, it's probably going to be good for your health to think about how much is going along quite nicely in your home, your town, your county or country. Fight that impulse to notice and focus on the scary, the threatening and the 'negative' aspects of life and the news. Do what you can to help others. Be kind. Spend at least an equal amount of time devoting your thinking to what might be good and right and happy and lovely. What you think about...you will find.
Wishing you a life that is interesting and full and rich. Wishing you the strength and wisdom to grow through the difficult times. Wishing you friends and family to love and support you through times of grief and loss. Wishing you compassion to help others when you can. Wishing you the ability to see what is good in the world, and to contribute towards it too. Most of all wishing and hoping that the sad and terrible events of life remain as the exception to the rule for most of us, and that we can together build a better and happier world for the children yet to come. Thank you.
Thursday, 13 February 2014
Saturday, 8 February 2014
Spinning
I've been sitting here at the computer for about twenty minutes now...checking out the Raptor and Wildlife Refuge hoping to visit there today but discovered that it is just a refuge and not open to the public. I've popped onto Facebook and responded to a couple of things there and checked the page associated with work for me. I've just finished eating a bowl of rock melon (cantaloupe) cubes for breakfast and have been working on my first coffee. I've had a shower and washed my hair so I'm sitting here still wrapped in towels. My head is full of thoughts about all sorts of things and one of them was that I've not written a post here for a while...and that I ought to. So here's what I'm going to muse about today. Living in the moment. Because for the past twenty minutes or half an hour, that is definitely not what I've been doing.
My tummy is full and I can remember the first two or three pieces of rock melon; spearing them with my fork and sending them in the direction of my mouth. I can remember the sweet taste and the bright coral-orange of the flesh...and a wee burp just now reminds me that I've eaten the bowlful. But I've had my mind on so many other things that the rest of the bowl was engulfed as by an automaton. I was not taking any notice. I think I deprived myself of the privilege of enjoying and savouring every mouthful. Perhaps next time I can sit away from the computer and actually focus on the food I'm eating. Perhaps then my mind will appreciate the quantity, the flavours, the textures and satisfaction of chewing to the point that it won't be telling me I need more. I feel full right now but I wonder if the satisfaction might have been greater if I'd really noticed everything about the experience of having my breakfast. Hmmm.
Sitting here now I'm trying to notice everything about this experience. I can feel the pressure of the chair under my rear and against the outside of my right thigh. I can feel the dampness of the towels around me, the weight of the one on my head. I can feel my glasses on my nose and see the rims of them at the periphery of my vision. I am grateful. I can't see much without them. The world is a blur. Sometimes we move too fast and try to get too much done and feel like we never get to the point where we can be satisfied that we're enough; that we do enough. Maybe being present is a bit like putting spectacles on so that we can see more clearly. I am grateful that I could get out of bed this morning and stand under a hot shower and that I had soap and shampoo and conditioner to take care of my body. Somehow that nourishes my soul too. I am grateful that I had a bed to sleep in last night and the security of a safe home. I am grateful for my mug of coffee and my rock melon. I am grateful for the fridge that kept my rock melon in good condition until I was ready to eat it. The value of slowing down is that I can start to really see my life and remember how lucky I am to have so much. I am grateful for my desk, my computer, my connection to so many beautiful people, my job, my family, my friends. Many of those things may seem cliche. We all say we love our family and friends; that we are happy to have a roof over our heads and tucker on the table. But are we truly grateful? Are you? Am I? We are more likely to be, I think, if we live with awareness in the moment.
It's easy to take for granted the things that surround us all the time; the things we've always had or the things we believe we deserve because we've worked hard for them. I try to remember that even though I know others whose lives appear richer or who have more or do more or go on more adventures...there are so many millions of people, perhaps billions who have never and will never have the opportunity to enjoy the simple pleasures I take for granted in my day to day life. Sometimes I feel guilty but the reality is that I am here and this is my life here. I do what I can to help others and contribute something to community. I can't mend the whole world but I can take a step towards that end by noticing and knowing and by being grateful. It's a shift in consciousness. It's a shift in attitude. It's humbling somehow. What lottery was it that placed me here in this space and not in some poverty stricken, war torn country, perhaps with illiterate parents and no opportunity to go to school? That is the reality for so many. I was sold a lucky ticket in life.
My mind this morning has been full of thoughts about things I want or need to do; ring Mum and see how she's doing, text the kids to let them know I'm thinking of them, plan for next week at school, contact people I need to for work, make lists. Life is going to be so very busy for the next ten weeks; the school term. There will be much demanded of me, but I am grateful to have the chance to be part of the lives of the people I work with. I am grateful to have the chance to learn new things and new processes. I am lucky to have all the skills and abilities I need for my job. I am lucky to have a job. All I have to do really is stay in the moment and remember that even though sometimes I feel really disorganised and sometimes overwhelmed I am enough.
I have a plan to keep myself from spinning out...to keep my head from spinning so fast with a million thoughts that it might just fly off my body and finish up somewhere in the outer stratosphere. I've decided to call it my 30-30-30. The 30s represent minutes. My plan is this; after work I will give myself 30 minutes to walk, 30 minutes to meditate (this may be just sitting and enjoying the view of the bay but it will be with determination to stay present and not be thinking about other things) and 30 minutes to do something nice for myself (a foot soak, a hand massage, a book for personal enjoyment, a favourite tv show) and then I'll have a meal and complete preparations for the next day. After a busy non-stop day at school, I think it's important to allow myself some time to reset my psyche and be present for myself. That's my plan. My Anti Head Spin Plan. Wish me luck! I think it's time for me to get dressed and head out for the day...not to the Raptor Refuge but I'm sure I'll find something or somewhere new to explore. Have a great day!!
My tummy is full and I can remember the first two or three pieces of rock melon; spearing them with my fork and sending them in the direction of my mouth. I can remember the sweet taste and the bright coral-orange of the flesh...and a wee burp just now reminds me that I've eaten the bowlful. But I've had my mind on so many other things that the rest of the bowl was engulfed as by an automaton. I was not taking any notice. I think I deprived myself of the privilege of enjoying and savouring every mouthful. Perhaps next time I can sit away from the computer and actually focus on the food I'm eating. Perhaps then my mind will appreciate the quantity, the flavours, the textures and satisfaction of chewing to the point that it won't be telling me I need more. I feel full right now but I wonder if the satisfaction might have been greater if I'd really noticed everything about the experience of having my breakfast. Hmmm.
Sitting here now I'm trying to notice everything about this experience. I can feel the pressure of the chair under my rear and against the outside of my right thigh. I can feel the dampness of the towels around me, the weight of the one on my head. I can feel my glasses on my nose and see the rims of them at the periphery of my vision. I am grateful. I can't see much without them. The world is a blur. Sometimes we move too fast and try to get too much done and feel like we never get to the point where we can be satisfied that we're enough; that we do enough. Maybe being present is a bit like putting spectacles on so that we can see more clearly. I am grateful that I could get out of bed this morning and stand under a hot shower and that I had soap and shampoo and conditioner to take care of my body. Somehow that nourishes my soul too. I am grateful that I had a bed to sleep in last night and the security of a safe home. I am grateful for my mug of coffee and my rock melon. I am grateful for the fridge that kept my rock melon in good condition until I was ready to eat it. The value of slowing down is that I can start to really see my life and remember how lucky I am to have so much. I am grateful for my desk, my computer, my connection to so many beautiful people, my job, my family, my friends. Many of those things may seem cliche. We all say we love our family and friends; that we are happy to have a roof over our heads and tucker on the table. But are we truly grateful? Are you? Am I? We are more likely to be, I think, if we live with awareness in the moment.
It's easy to take for granted the things that surround us all the time; the things we've always had or the things we believe we deserve because we've worked hard for them. I try to remember that even though I know others whose lives appear richer or who have more or do more or go on more adventures...there are so many millions of people, perhaps billions who have never and will never have the opportunity to enjoy the simple pleasures I take for granted in my day to day life. Sometimes I feel guilty but the reality is that I am here and this is my life here. I do what I can to help others and contribute something to community. I can't mend the whole world but I can take a step towards that end by noticing and knowing and by being grateful. It's a shift in consciousness. It's a shift in attitude. It's humbling somehow. What lottery was it that placed me here in this space and not in some poverty stricken, war torn country, perhaps with illiterate parents and no opportunity to go to school? That is the reality for so many. I was sold a lucky ticket in life.
My mind this morning has been full of thoughts about things I want or need to do; ring Mum and see how she's doing, text the kids to let them know I'm thinking of them, plan for next week at school, contact people I need to for work, make lists. Life is going to be so very busy for the next ten weeks; the school term. There will be much demanded of me, but I am grateful to have the chance to be part of the lives of the people I work with. I am grateful to have the chance to learn new things and new processes. I am lucky to have all the skills and abilities I need for my job. I am lucky to have a job. All I have to do really is stay in the moment and remember that even though sometimes I feel really disorganised and sometimes overwhelmed I am enough.
I have a plan to keep myself from spinning out...to keep my head from spinning so fast with a million thoughts that it might just fly off my body and finish up somewhere in the outer stratosphere. I've decided to call it my 30-30-30. The 30s represent minutes. My plan is this; after work I will give myself 30 minutes to walk, 30 minutes to meditate (this may be just sitting and enjoying the view of the bay but it will be with determination to stay present and not be thinking about other things) and 30 minutes to do something nice for myself (a foot soak, a hand massage, a book for personal enjoyment, a favourite tv show) and then I'll have a meal and complete preparations for the next day. After a busy non-stop day at school, I think it's important to allow myself some time to reset my psyche and be present for myself. That's my plan. My Anti Head Spin Plan. Wish me luck! I think it's time for me to get dressed and head out for the day...not to the Raptor Refuge but I'm sure I'll find something or somewhere new to explore. Have a great day!!
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