I've done the most amazing thing this week. It's so inspired me that here I am writing again even though I never seem to find time. I'm making time!! Yay! It's so great to find it possible. I am currently listening to a lecture for my study at the same time. Aren't we wonderful creatures (women...and perhaps some men) that we can manage to do two things at once. There's lots of stuff written out there about being focused on one thing at a time to do them well, but I'm giving this a shot because, well...I'm in the mood!
My amazing thing is dead simple really. I've been setting my phone alarm for 5.55am and dragging myself upright, striking a match to light a candle on the bedside table, then staring at the flame until the next alarm at 6.15 (set on buzz or vibrate cos I don't want this time to end to Bluegrass) then I blow out the candle and go back to 'sleep' until the next alarm at 6.30. This is what I call 'meditation practice'. I know, purists will scoff, but for me this is a good thing. Okay, on day three I could barely lift my head off the pillow due to very little shut-eye (can't remember why now, but you know, just another restless night), so I didn't actually light the candle until 6.45 but I still did it before getting up and showering for work. Four days running. I'm doing great and I'm going to keep going.
I can't really explain how this simple dedication is working, but somehow I feel better. Perhaps it's just that I'm being true to myself. I decided to do this thing and I'm doing it. I have announced it on the page where fellow students chat with me so there is a level of accountability which is quite a good motivator too. But really I just want to do this for me. Because I've been carrying a lot lately and I need to start being kinder to myself by upping my self-care routines. And surely stress management is a kind of self-care that is super important. How are you doing with that?
I was doing pretty crap at it really. It's not like I don't know what I can do to take better care of myself. It's just that sometimes I get a bit overwhelmed with life and when that happens I think about eating 'comfort' foods rather than doing things that are really going to do me some good. In many ways the things I choose to do make the load greater by overloading my digestive system and making me feel lethargic. So it really counts when I am doing one positive thing for myself. It's not exercise so it's not that hard to motivate myself on this one.
I'm not a morning person. I've always considered myself a bit of a night owl. But gosh, it's so lovely to be up early and enjoy the freshness of those first daylight hours. I know, I'm laying back down after my meditation for now, but I know that if I keep using my meditation 'muscle', it will get stronger and I'll be wanting to get up afterwards instead of collapsing in a heap. I know it's important to start with what I can do now.
In the past I've done crazy things like working out super hard on my first trip to a gym and not being able to even move the next day (never went back of course). Or pushing myself so hard on a group bush walk that I needed to be carried the last several hundred metres to my car. That, by the way, was absolutely, horribly embarrassing, because everyone else was way older than me! I was only in my late teens and thought I'd be just fine doing the Intermediate Bush Walk (having rarely walked further than the post box before that - but how hard could it be??). How wrong I was. My muscles all seized up with the uric acid or whatever was being released into my blood stream with all that vigorous exercise. It was not a bit pretty. I never went walking with that group again because I was just so humiliated. I was so sure they wouldn't want to have me back again. Sad really. I didn't like the leeches looping towards me on the rocks near the waterfall at lunchtime either. Bit off-putting.
Anyway, there it is. It's a tiny little practice to help me build my commitment to doing more and doing better. It's really down to this. You have to start where you are with what you can do now. Every little thing that takes me towards feeling better is a great thing and to be celebrated. That's how I feel tonight. Celebratory.
What are you doing to help yourself? Tell me about your little life successes...or your challenges. I'd love to hear from you.
Kerry :)
Wednesday, 22 July 2015
Saturday, 18 July 2015
A Busy Life and the Madness of it All
How I've been missing writing for my blog! Perhaps it's too much television? Sometimes I think it's such a waste to sit there in front of that wretched box, but sometimes it's all I seem to have the energy for. So here I am, grabbing onto this wisp of inspiration, or perhaps procrastination, as I'm at work on a Saturday and need a wee break from THAT kind of thinking. There is no television here to afford me escape, so there is suddenly time to write.
It must be a bit confusing to have someone writing and posting regularly then they all but disappear. To be honest there has been a lot going on and I've been suffering a strange form of overwhelm, which in my particular case can be translated to probably not making the best use of the time I have.
Last July I started a journey to heal an annoying and somewhat persistent case of eczema, even starting a new blog - My Best and Healthiest Me - thinking it would be fairly straightforward and that I could record my successes along the way. Later in the year, faced with uncertainty about employment for this year and still not getting anywhere with getting 'better', I came across IIN i.e. the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. A course was offered to study to become a certified Health Coach. Health and Coaching have long been areas of interest for me, so thinking it would be good to have something happening in case work didn't come through and that perhaps I'd find some answers to my eczema problem, I decided to sign up.
Guess what?! The work came through - full time - so I found myself with that AND a study load to manage for twelve months. Well, the study will finish in October so nearly twelve months. It's been a marvellous experience so far and I'm learning more than I could have imagined and although progress has been slow and there have been many false starts, I think I might have found the answer to healing myself. I'm not going to share about that now as it's still a work in progress and I want to be sure before I start shouting about it too much!
As well as that lot, I have my son back home for a while and although I love him to bits, it is an adjustment for me who had grown quite used to my own company and my own space. All in all, life this year (are we really only halfway?) has been a bit frenzied and overwhelming and perhaps it's okay to dive into TV Land now and then to escape from it all. Perhaps I could just make it a little less often or for a little less time from now until October to make sure I'm keeping up with both work and study commitments.
It's important to stay connected to friends and family, even when work and study threaten to take over one's life. I'm so grateful for my parents who are always so welcoming and pleased to see me even if I'm only calling in for five minutes to give them a hug. I'm so grateful for my friends who remind me that I am important to them and so loved. I'm grateful for the time with my son; he has so much to say about the world as he sees it and it keeps me alert to so much that is going on that I might otherwise miss altogether. Currently I have the joy of having both of my kids home for a few days with my daughter joining us from interstate. The house is chaotic and a bit crazy but it's filled with love and bad jokes so it's all worth it.
I wrote a blog post in my head whilst travelling to Coffs Harbour for a week's holiday recently but was too exhausted at the time to actually write it. It alluded to the joys of experiencing a perforated eardrum mid-flight and enduring a nine hour coach ride in lieu of a further flight (having been frog-marched off said further flight before take-off after the Flight Manager conferred with two medics about my condition).
Add to that a debit card that failed to allow me access to pay for the coach ride, a tearful call to mum who came to the rescue with her card details (thanks Mum xo), a hair clasp that had looked like the last chance to redeem my frazzled and bedraggled self from disaster prior to snapping in half (this caused hysterical laughter to emanate from my tear-stained face in the bathroom of the Sydney coach station - not good), fried rice in a somewhat grubby Sydney eatery and charging my phone whilst sitting close by on rather suspiciously stained carpet (would anyone spill a drink that close to the wall?...I hope so) and convincing myself that it was all a wonderful adventure.
I saw a number of homeless folk setting themselves up in the shelter of abandoned shop doorways which provided little protection from the night. Volunteers were distributing plastic-wrapped blankets. Down the road a short way aboard the coach, we passed five thousand people, mostly women, jewel and fashion be-decked cramming and straining for a view of the prancing bare-chested heroes of Magic Mike XXL - yes it was Opening Night! What contrasts the city affords and how shocking and fascinating it all was for this country town girl.
Sitting in that comfortable air-conditioned coach wasn't all that different from watching tv at home I suppose. It was all going on in front of me but I wasn't part of any of it in that moment; just an interested observer. Yet still, it engaged my emotions and made me wonder about the madness of it all. For now, I'll have to keep wondering. Time to get myself together and head home again. The kids are out for this afternoon and maybe I'll get the kitchen tidied and the floor vacuumed before they reappear! Hope to join you for a Cuppa again soon!
It must be a bit confusing to have someone writing and posting regularly then they all but disappear. To be honest there has been a lot going on and I've been suffering a strange form of overwhelm, which in my particular case can be translated to probably not making the best use of the time I have.
Last July I started a journey to heal an annoying and somewhat persistent case of eczema, even starting a new blog - My Best and Healthiest Me - thinking it would be fairly straightforward and that I could record my successes along the way. Later in the year, faced with uncertainty about employment for this year and still not getting anywhere with getting 'better', I came across IIN i.e. the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. A course was offered to study to become a certified Health Coach. Health and Coaching have long been areas of interest for me, so thinking it would be good to have something happening in case work didn't come through and that perhaps I'd find some answers to my eczema problem, I decided to sign up.
Guess what?! The work came through - full time - so I found myself with that AND a study load to manage for twelve months. Well, the study will finish in October so nearly twelve months. It's been a marvellous experience so far and I'm learning more than I could have imagined and although progress has been slow and there have been many false starts, I think I might have found the answer to healing myself. I'm not going to share about that now as it's still a work in progress and I want to be sure before I start shouting about it too much!
As well as that lot, I have my son back home for a while and although I love him to bits, it is an adjustment for me who had grown quite used to my own company and my own space. All in all, life this year (are we really only halfway?) has been a bit frenzied and overwhelming and perhaps it's okay to dive into TV Land now and then to escape from it all. Perhaps I could just make it a little less often or for a little less time from now until October to make sure I'm keeping up with both work and study commitments.
It's important to stay connected to friends and family, even when work and study threaten to take over one's life. I'm so grateful for my parents who are always so welcoming and pleased to see me even if I'm only calling in for five minutes to give them a hug. I'm so grateful for my friends who remind me that I am important to them and so loved. I'm grateful for the time with my son; he has so much to say about the world as he sees it and it keeps me alert to so much that is going on that I might otherwise miss altogether. Currently I have the joy of having both of my kids home for a few days with my daughter joining us from interstate. The house is chaotic and a bit crazy but it's filled with love and bad jokes so it's all worth it.
I wrote a blog post in my head whilst travelling to Coffs Harbour for a week's holiday recently but was too exhausted at the time to actually write it. It alluded to the joys of experiencing a perforated eardrum mid-flight and enduring a nine hour coach ride in lieu of a further flight (having been frog-marched off said further flight before take-off after the Flight Manager conferred with two medics about my condition).
Add to that a debit card that failed to allow me access to pay for the coach ride, a tearful call to mum who came to the rescue with her card details (thanks Mum xo), a hair clasp that had looked like the last chance to redeem my frazzled and bedraggled self from disaster prior to snapping in half (this caused hysterical laughter to emanate from my tear-stained face in the bathroom of the Sydney coach station - not good), fried rice in a somewhat grubby Sydney eatery and charging my phone whilst sitting close by on rather suspiciously stained carpet (would anyone spill a drink that close to the wall?...I hope so) and convincing myself that it was all a wonderful adventure.
I saw a number of homeless folk setting themselves up in the shelter of abandoned shop doorways which provided little protection from the night. Volunteers were distributing plastic-wrapped blankets. Down the road a short way aboard the coach, we passed five thousand people, mostly women, jewel and fashion be-decked cramming and straining for a view of the prancing bare-chested heroes of Magic Mike XXL - yes it was Opening Night! What contrasts the city affords and how shocking and fascinating it all was for this country town girl.
Sitting in that comfortable air-conditioned coach wasn't all that different from watching tv at home I suppose. It was all going on in front of me but I wasn't part of any of it in that moment; just an interested observer. Yet still, it engaged my emotions and made me wonder about the madness of it all. For now, I'll have to keep wondering. Time to get myself together and head home again. The kids are out for this afternoon and maybe I'll get the kitchen tidied and the floor vacuumed before they reappear! Hope to join you for a Cuppa again soon!
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