Hello all you lovelies out there. I've not been into my blog for quite a while partly because my internet connection at home is just so slow and frustrating and the computer shuts down without notice and so on. So here I am at work...yes, at work keeping my wonderful son company and bringing him dinner while he is putting varnish on a new mezzanine reading platform that has been built in the classroom - the kids are going to love it! So while I'm here I thought I'd drop you all a line on my work computer. Shhh. Don't tell on me! I hope they wouldn't mind really. It's not like I'm up to no good.
In the time I've been busy with other things, my blog visits have topped 6000 so I'm thrilled to know that. Thanks for looking in. I've been getting a few new likes on the Facebook page too, so the least I can do is put up a new post...as it's the New Year and all. Well it WAS the 'new' year...it is now two days from the end of January and where the heck did that go???
I hope you've started 2015 well and to your satisfaction. Did you make any 'new year resolutions'? I didn't. I reckon there's enough pressure on us all without adding anything extra. It's more than enough just trying to do a bit of exercise (not 30 minutes 5 days a week ~ just something) and to eat the right things (not a starvation diet ~ just reasonable serves of simple natural foods) and to de-stress (not to meditate like a monk ~ just to sit quietly when a few minutes make themselves available and appreciate whatever you have in life to be grateful for) in amongst all the 'have to do' things on our daily lists. How hard is it to keep those resolutions after Day 3...or Day 2 ...or Day 1 if things are really tough? We can be so hard on ourselves and then the guilt piles up when we haven't done what we decided to do to improve ourselves.
In my eyes guilt does nothing to improve anyone. Action is the thing that makes the difference, and for some maybe those big mind-blowing New Year's life-changing resolutions might work. For most of us though, a little change...something manageable and not mind-blowing but definitely in the long term life-changing... might be do-able. It might not be something you could brag about but it is something you can keep doing without too much effort. What sort of thing might fit into the can-do category for you? For me it is writing every day. Even if it's just a little bit. I know you haven't been seeing much of it lately, but I've started to do 'morning pages' as described by Julia Cameron in The Artist's Way. It is apparently a best seller but it's only come my way recently and I've decided this is something I can do.
Writing is my first love. I didn't always know that but as I'm getting older it's becoming clearer. It's the thing that lights me up, and doing it first thing in the morning is a great idea. Now it's supposed to be three pages each day. I started out doing that but my pages are A4 and I'm thinking that perhaps Julia's pages were A5 (that's smaller for those not in the know) because it takes quite a while to fill three A4 pages longhand first thing in the morning. I love to do it but if I do that I know I can't possibly make time for a walk unless I get up well before the crack of dawn. That's not going to happen. So some days I write one page. Some days I write two. I haven't added in the walk yet but I'm back to work again next week and that routine will probably be the thing that gets me up and out the door to enjoy a bit of 'me' time before heading off to give myself to others for the day.
I'm getting too old to feel guilty about things not done. What can I do? The hours fly by and I do my best. I have to do the things that make me happy or I'm no good to anyone. I have things I have to do and there's not always time for all the things I 'should' do...so 'should' is gone. No guilt. I'll do my best most days in most ways and that will be enough. Think about it. It's all any of us can do. Yet so much of the time we feel guilty that we haven't done more. Like it's not okay to stop and take some down time and take care of ourselves.
Today I had a day for me. I went to a puppet-making workshop and saw some kids make some incredible things. Kids are fantastic - they have such great imaginations and they can make the impossible happen with a little help from adult helpers. I took myself for a massage - it was indescribably wonderful to have all the knots and tension slowly released from my back, neck and shoulders. I've not been for ages and know now that I need to do this more often. I've booked for another in a fortnight. You needed help, said the masseuse, and that's okay...with a knowing smile. Do we all feel like we have to do it all ourselves? She must see it often.
Next I visited a Naturopath for the first time in maybe 25 or 26 years. I've been struggling to move towards better health since July and have made some improvements but I need help. Yes I NEEDED help. I've done what I can. Now it's time to get some expert help to work the rest out. It was such a relief to sit and share with this beautiful, knowledgeable woman who is going to help me to finally get better. I don't have to shoulder the whole responsibility any more for knowing what to do. I didn't know what to do any more. So it's been a really good day for me. A day of release and a day to feel grateful for and not guilty about.
Happy New Year everyone. I know it will be a mixed bag for each and every one of us. Try and get through without carrying too much guilt and wearing yourself out unnecessarily. Cheers.